Saturday, January 31, 2009

I erased my other blog. I didn't like it, but I think it's for the best. I believe I transferred most of the posts that cover my story. I didn't feel like copying every single post.
The only thing that I don't think I have covered is the fact that I wrote the adoptive parents a letter asking for a picture and little bits of information on what she is like and how she is doing. I prepared myself for the worst when I sent it out, but I hoped for the best. It never crossed my mind that they would totally just ignore me. I figure the worst they could say was no we don't want to give you a picture, and we don't want to talk to you. I didn't get that such reply. It's been over three months and nothing has came from them. I still check about every other week, but really have accepted that they won't write. I however can't stop checking, because the what if's. So by not writing me they have caused me more heart ache. Maybe heart ache is a strong choice of words. It's more about the disappointment that the people that are raising her seem to be so selfish. I guess they must have a lot of fear. I am sure there is the chance that something screw ball happened and they didn't get the letter. I really don't think that's the case though. The letter didn't come back to me. I suppose I won't find out, because I told them I wouldn't contact them again if they choose not to correspond with me.
There is a story in the Rockford Register Star about a adoption that was fought and the child went back and forth. My husband decides to read this story to me. Which causes my son to get Izzy's picture off the wall, and compare the two of us. My husband said you should see the most recent pictures of her. I don't know why he had to say that. I don't feel like it's in my sons best interest to have a idea on what she looks like, because they do live in the same area. I don't need him coming up to her.. Hey Izzy.. I am your brother. He is only 14 and doesn't always think things through. For right now, I just told him that I didn't have pictures on me.

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