Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Christmas gift for Izzy

I tried to come in the middle as far as Izzy's Christmas gift.. meaning I sent something even though I couldn't quite afford to do much and kept it simple.

I started with a Christmas stocking full of a couple Christmas related gifts that I got as a Christmas gift during my holiday party. It's not that I didn't like it. I loved the idea of a stocking full of gifts.

So I went to 5 and under and picked up a couple small things to add. I also included a freezer bag full of Christmas cookies. I had thought about a gift card but that was going to be more than I could afford when I added shipping.

I regretly got busy and stalled at mailing it off. I mailed it off on Monday and the gift got there today because it came with tracking. I know it's only been a few hours since she got the gift but my mind is already wondering how come I haven't heard from her.

Just today she posted about a favorite Christmas gift that her husband gave her and thanks someone else for a package of wax for candle making.. so it's not that she hasn't been online.

I am hoping that I am over reacting and she mentions it soon. I did hear from her when I sent a card for Thanksgiving but didn't when I sent just a card for her birthday.

So if I don't hear from her... do I ask if she got it?? Say after a couple days?

Or leave it be?

Do I accept that this is the kind of relationship we have and understand that if I send gifts I may not hear from her? Is that unconditional love or accepting that she is walking on me. I am torn. I give gifts to her cause I love her and enjoy hopefully making her happy.. but if I don't hear from her then I have no idea of the gifts make her happy or not.

I don't have a lot of money and have toned my gift giving with her. It's not that I don't love her but I have two boys that I love too. I don't want to short change their needs or wants to send things to her.. I hope that doesn't sound crude.

Do I stick to cards and apply the money I would spend on my sons? I am torn. I am hoping by tomorrow that I will have heard from her.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

My ponderings about baby

I am still really trying to wrap my head around the fact that my son is going to be a father soon. It's not new to me to be a Grandmother but I do perfer to be called Nana so I don't think that is what is hard about getting used to the idea of a new baby in my family.

For starters I want a girl! Can I make a request? It would be so so cool to see a grand daughter that may or may not look like me! I don't suppose I have much of a say in if it's a boy or a girl.

My son is 20 years old. He is 5 years older than I was when I had my first child and two years older than me when I had him. So he is young but not as young as I was when I was faced with unplanned pregnancies. I got the impression that his girlfriend wanted this baby but didn't get the impression that his is something he wanted but it's done and did now.

A baby is a big game changer and I wonder if my son is mature enough to make that adjustment in his life. My son and his girlfriend are managers at McDonald's but it doesn't seem like McDonald's pays low level shift managers much money. My son is living with a friend's parents and his girlfriend lives with her father. She doesn't have a Mom in the picture cause I guess she left her when she was young. My son's girlfriend is only 17 years of age. I only have seen her once. She went with us to Izzy's wedding reception. She was 17 then and so I imagine she is close to being 18. I am a little concerned over the age thing cause I looked it up and it does look like the age of concent is 18 years of age.

I have heard stories of a couple year difference still get someone labled as a sex offender as if they had molestered a young child. That would be so life ruining if my son was put on a offenders list for being with this girl.

I don't really know my son's and his girlfriend's future plans together. He was telling me about how he will be renting his own place soon. He had the option of a one bedroom on his own or a two bedroom with a manager at McDonald's. I don't know if he was unsure how to tell us that they were going to live together ect.

I been wondering how my son and his girlfriend will afford everything a baby needs and worry that they won't have enough money. I have even wondered who will watch the baby while they go to work? She is about 11 weeks along so I know it's a while before they have to worry about that stuff.. but time flies.

My son and his girlfriend live about 40 minutes away from me. It's not in the same town. So it won't be really easy to ask me to help out with babysitting if it worked out with my job. I have anziety over traveling and had to buy a GPS just so I just could get to see him.. but I can't drive home in the dark. I have had a couple bad experiences with trying to get home in the daek.

I have tossed around the idea of throwing her a baby shower but I would imagine she has someone closer to her that would do that.

I have been really tight lipped on this on facebook. My son hasn't even announced it on facebook so not sure if this is something he is still trying to wrap his mind around. However, he doesn't seem to use facebook much.. but I did find out a while back he had made a second fb account but I have since lost the page.

I don't know if myself not sharing is for his privacy or just not ready to admit that my son is expecting a child before he is married and even has a place of this own.. Maybe it's some of my own self doubt coming into play. It's not like I had my own place or lots of money when I had my son.

I hope to get to know his girlfriend better since she most likely will be having my grand child.

I know I need to ask some serious questions to my son and figure out what their plans are so I know when and how I can help if needed and if possible.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Pregnancy confirmed

My son has confirmed that his girlfriend is pregnant! My husband asked him in private and then my son told me the news. I acted surprised! I will be honest with you all that I have mixed feelings about it and it also doesn't really feel real to me yet. I will write more on this subject later.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Foster parenting challenges

I babysit on Sundays at a church. I have been doing it for a few years. I enjoy it and the population seems to be growing with children coming into the nursery.

There is this couple that had shared the desire to be foster parents with the church and did what was needed to be approved.

There wish was a child for Christmas.

A little girl of 20 months was placed in their care. I am not sure if what I witnessed and experienced is normal for a foster child.

What I understand this child is in her second foster home and it pretty new to the system. I believe she was with this other family for a few months or so.

So basically this little girl has been with the couple I mentioned for less than a week.. This is what happened.

The Foster Mom and little girl come into the nursery and the little girl seems unsure a little bit but likes that she see's toys.

The Mom goes on to tell her that while people like to hold her that they were coming into the nursery so they could spend time together and the Mom reminded the child that "you are my little girl not their little girl." I felt like she talked to her on a level that an average 2 year old wouldn't get.

So the Mom wants the little girl to come to her and she isn't coming but is laying on the floor crying. I spoke calmly to the girl but I didn't reach out to touch her or pick her up since the Mom was in the room.

All of the sudden the little girl gets up. She walks right to me and climbs up in my lap. She straddled me backwards to get a good cuddle. It was sweet but I was a little shocked.

The Mom told the little girl again who's baby she was and she wasn't my baby but it was okay to be with me cause I get paid to look after children.

The Mom stayed in the room with the girl for the majority of the service. She was unsure if she could leave her with me plus she wants to bond with her.

It gave me a little chance to talk to the Mom cause honestly I don't get around much talking to other people unless they bring children to me.

I don't know if the child's behavoir was normal or not. I noticed when a couple other people would talk to her the girl would respond but for the most part she would ignore the Foster Mom. Towards the end of the service, the Mom wanted to go into the service and bribed the child to come to her for food and off they went.

I personally thought that the Foster Mom was trying to hard.. and she isn't bringing things down to her level. She has never been a parent so I know this is all new to her.

I wonder if the girl came to me cause I have the confidence in my abilty to take care of kids.. Anyone have any insight on this whole situation?

On another note, a couple that has 3 children announced that they were expecting their 4th child. This is exciting! It's not a big church so it's not unusal to only have one child or sometimes none at all if the family I just mentioned don't come to church. There third child I have been taking care of since he was a newborn and we are very much bonded. I don't share him well with my volunteer!! LOL

Sunday, December 21, 2014

My son still hasn't told us about the baby. My husband wants to confront him to get him to talk about it. I am wondering if the right thing to do is say something or let him tell us on his time.. but it is on a social network site. He doesn't know we would have acess to that.. but what he should know is that people talk. My husband thinks we need to bring it up so we can give emotional advice and also be a part of the excitment of a new baby. Me.. I am not sure. I don't think it has hit me yet.

What would you do?

Monday, December 15, 2014


I have known for about 3 weeks now that my oldest son's girlfriend is expecting a baby but the kicker is that my son hasn't told us yet. We were tipped off by a facebook posting she did and my husband's son told my husband. I don't think it's really hit me yet even though I have seen the postive test online.

I suppose this is payback for hiding my first pregnancy from my parents. I figure he will tell me when they are ready and hopefully that won't be when the first labor pains hit.

She is younger than him but both do work for Mcdonald's as managers but that doesn't say a lot of them when it comes to what McDonald's pays.

I have only told two friends and now all of you. I can't tell me my family cause they all talk too much.

My husband said I am going to be a real Grandma now. I sort of thought I was a real Nana to my step daughter's girl but I do get what he means.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

My second Mom

Today, I had pleasure of talking to a woman that I think of as a second Mom. She is really special to me. So special that I brought Izzy to meet her a couple years ago. When we were talking to today she referred to me as Izzy's Mom and it's so nice to have that one person who doesn't seem to question my status with her.. including myself. I hope to see my friend so and that they printed the pictures from when I brought Izzy to see her. That's all I really have to say. Sorry I been kind of quiet. I want to blog but I have sort of ran out of topics after so many years of blogging.

Anyone have any questions or topics you wish I would write about?

Thursday, December 4, 2014

I hope everyone had a great Thankgiving! I had to work so my Thanksgiving dinner was an eat and run type of thing and then I had to be at work while my client's family had dinner.. Very odd!! I hope to be off on Christmas to avoid a repeat of that.

I did send Izzy a Thankgiving card and heard from how when she got it. There has been a bit more communication betweeen the two of us the last week or so. I sort of kept my weight loss posts and working out posts down a bit. I am part of a group for maintaining our weight and have been using that as more of a outlet.. I have wondered if I am rubbing her the wrong way. We all have that friend that drives us a little crazy right?

I am not sure what I will do for Izzy for Christmas. I probably will keep it low key due to the distance but might pop my head in and get prices on the boxes to see how much it cost to ship just in case I do find something I want to get her.. my other idea would be a card with a gift card. Also have the cookbook idea but not sure about that.

I will just have to decide sooner or later. I know I don't want to be super late with it like last year.