About me

A little background information.

I fell head over heels in love or so I thought I did at the age of 14 years of age or so. My memory isn't the best. I met Todd the summer after 7TH grade but before the school year of 8Th grade started.  I found myself pregnant at the age of 14 and Todd didn't believe me and then was gone out of my life. I never did find out if it was accidental or he ran off. I moved too so it's possible that not only was he lost to me but I was lost to him.

I hid the pregnancy for the full nine months. I admit that I didn't get any prenatal care and for that I am ashamed of. I lived in between denial,shame and shock. I don't have very many memories of being pregnant besides spending most of that summer before my baby was born taking care of my sister and brother what seemed like around the clock. It was so much that at times my Mom would come home long enough for me to go to a near by restaurant to have a salad and a soda.

Sometime, in the middle of the night labor pains started on September 11 1991. At that time, my Mom still didn't know that I was pregnant. I told her that I was pregnant and said I was raped. I carry a lot of guilt for lying about that.

That same morning, I went to school cause I didn't have it in me to tell my Mom that I was in labor. I remember going thru extreme pain up until 4TH hour. I remember it was science and his name was Mr. Johnson. Don't ask me how I still remember his name.

The nurse called my Mom and my aunt came to get me from school. I was at the hospital for less than an hour before I gave birth to baby girl. I don't recall the time or how much she weighed or how long she was.

My Mom made it clear that I wasn't coming home with a baby and my aunt knew of a couple who couldn't have kids. I agreed to meet them and agreed that they could adopt her. Promises were made by my aunt and she was wrong in doing so. I believe promises were made by her soon to be parents but I could be mistaken.

I held my daughter with me for that one day that I was in the hospital. It's the most heartbreaking experience that I have ever been through. 3 days later, my Mom took me to the court house to sign TPR papers. I was uneducated about adoption and my rights were not looked after.

I am also the Mom to two sons. They are 11 and 16 years of age. I am on my second marriage and he has twins from his first marriage so between the two of us we have five children. I have a grand daughter that we watch while her parents work. She has added so much joy into our lives and given me a small piece of the puzzle that I craved to be around a little girl.

Shortly, after my daughter turned 18 years of age, I came across her on a social network. I wasn't 100% sure it was her but my heart said she was the baby now grown. After much debating and thinking, I wrote her about a month after her 18Th birthday and it took some time but she had her boyfriend write and then she started writing me.

On October 31st of last year, I met my daughter face to face for the first time. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I am so proud of her. I am forever thankful to her parents for being taking such good care of her.

I am honored and still thrilled that my daughter has chosen to allow me into her life. It's a slow process and I know I will never be Mom but hopefully she knows that she is loved and I will always do my best to do what is right for her. 

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