Sunday, September 20, 2015

Grand baby

My grand daughter was born late July. I was actually at another hospital going to my first appointment with a specialist for my iron deficiency problem. They got me started right away on iron infusion treatments. The baby was born before I get to the hospital. So I did get to go up there and visit with my son, the new Mom and my new grand daughter.

She was so tiny! So beautiful! Amazing! She looks so much like my son.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

My husband and I are still on course for breaking up. It's a bit weird knowing the end is coming but not until April.. Almost like a ticking bomb going off just waiting for the life style change to happen.. tick, tick, tick.. We have our good days where we are okay with each other and at peace with our decision.. then there is the bad days where he may say that he feels like he has to walk on egg shells around me. I don't mean to be sensitive but these days I just feel like the things coming out of his mouth are slight digs. I may just be over thinking and taking everything as an attack when it's not. We both are tending to question the others plans on how it will or will not work out in the end.

His big dream is to take a really long bike ride. He plans to ride to Seattle Washington where is daughter lives and then try to stay places where it's warm. He plans on blogging about his experience as he travels down the road.. If you don't mind please check out his blog. Go HERE Follow it if you think you maybe interested in following him on his trip.

Today, was my daughter's 24th birthday.. Birthdays have never been easy. It's much better than what it used to be.. but it's still like a dark cloud surrounding her birthday. I have never had birthday cake with my daughter on her birthday or cake in general.. I have given gifts but never seen her open gifts on her birthday. I have celebrated her birthday over meals.. howwever, our relationship just isn't what I would hope it to be.. I get little snip bits of information of her life thru facebook and if I am lucky see her once a year.. We tend to have one good visit.. one bad visit.. or maybe it's just how I see things. I notice a rift around her last birthday. Not sure what caused it or if it's all in my head. Last year, for the first time, I didn't send flowers to her on her birthday. Not sure if that bothered her or not. This year I didn't send flowers again but I gave her a nice plant in person.

My husband made a cake today for her birthday. I feel odd admitting we ate birthday cake on her birthday without her. I admit I ate way too much cake.

I am not extremely sad about her birthday. I have to accept things as they are right now. Maybe someday in the future it will be different for us.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

birthday visit

To read about my visit with Izzy to celebrate her upcoming birthday head over to my private blog.

Baby shower

I am so behind on blogging. The baby shower went really well. We had a great turn out and they got lot of gifts.. We did a lot of the typical baby shower games and had a lot of laughs over the games.. we all oohed and awwed over the gifts. I will spare you all the little details. Here is a couple pictures from the fun day.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Calling it quits

My life has taken a sudden turn of events. I have decided to call it quits on my life with my husband. It's been a rough couple weeks because even though I want this marriage to end I feel sad that it came to this. My husband has plans to ride off on his bike.. you can read more about his plans here.

We can't split up until April. I am not happy about it. I just feel like this time is going to be weird and odd to act married and together knowing we are breaking up/ broke up.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Catching up

I am so behind on blogging.. I never finished the blogging about the birthmom's retreat. I am not sure if it's something I will get to do again but I will always hold that experience close to my heart.. the key I wanted to touch most on and probably last is the speaker that spoke to us. She is an adoptive Mom.. and she just really touched me. I feel like she really has taken the time to try to try to imagine the heartache birthmom's go thru and only got to begin to experience that because she somehow ended up pregnant and it resulted in a healthy child.. I can't do it justice so I am just going to link her blog.. if I can find it.

Here is her blog.. go here.

Go here for the post about her time she spent with us bringing the whole room to tears.. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Sorry wrong post.. go here for the message from the retreat.