It doesn't really surprise me that so many birth parents are speaking out online. Adoption has been treated as hush hush and birth parents have often felt like they were silenced. Starting off with their families. So, when your own family silences you then it's even harder to speak out in the world. I have always felt like I lived a double life.. like I wasn't true to myself. It's hard to explain. One day, a neighbor girl was being cute and really doing nothing wrong and the Mom said this is why you didn't have a girl. I wanted to come across the fence and touch her. It's those innocent statements that sometimes just really sting.

I added the link to my private blog. You will still need to log in to read it, but I thought this way you can find the link easier.

Today, I went to a memorial service for my live in client of two years. The family asked me to assist the wife (step mom) to the service and possibly to lunch. I was honored to be asked and I got to sit with the family. It was a beautiful service and he will be greatly missed. I felt really bad for the wife ( ex client) I know longer take care of her. During the summer, she was placed in a nursing home. I thought I would have been assisting them with lunch, but they decided not to take the wife to the lunch. I was still invited, but I didn't think they treated her fairly. I know it's not their real mother and real grandma (she has been gone for a long time) but come on.. don't they think she would have enjoyed the lunch and family or was the whole time they called her Grandma and told her that they loved her. Was it all a front? Now they can wash their hands of her since their Dad, Grandfather is gone.

I hope everyone had a really nice Christmas. Mine was pretty good. I really can't complain and even if I did no one would probably listen. Ha! I took a few pictures of the day. I think I take freaking horrible pictures, but oh well.

Am I the only person with bunnies trying to get the gifts from under the tree? This is normal right? hahaha.

I continue to be amazed by the support and the connections I have made through blogging. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined the support from others in the adoption world. I started off blogging, because well, I was using it as therapy. I still get amazed at the connections I have made.
I have been able to talk on the phone with another birthmom. It's was great to talk to someone who gets me.
I got an amazing email from an adoptive mommy that about made me cry. It was so sweet. It's a amazing thing this technology has made possible.

I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! Enjoy your special day with whomever is special to you. Also, don't forget to kiss Santa! I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus!! :) I know I am gonna kiss my Santa.

Let's be grown up

Children of divorce parents really feel the effects for more than jut childhood. Tomorrow, I am going to my little sister's house for Christmas Eve dinner. It will be my Dad and his wife and my sister and her boyfriend and my brother. Also, myself and my husband and kids. I guess my Mom isn't coming because she doesn't want to be around my Dad's wife. My ex husband hasn't remarried, but I wouldn't let his wife keep me from enjoying some family time. I admit that my step Mom isn't fun to be around. I won't say more haha
I don't care for my ex husband much, but we can sometimes stand each other for the children. We were able to have a pizza party for our son with my new husband around. It's something that just feels right.
Also, I was able to enjoy my step daughter's baby shower, because her Mom and I can be civil and even friendly. We don't have to be friends, but we can show up at the same place without feeling odd. But I can only speak for myself. So yes, divorce does effect people, even into adulthood, but things don't have to be weird. Speaking of the baby shower, I got a Thank you card and it said how I was going to be a good grandma. It was really sweet of her. The way I look at it is that this baby and other babies can never have too many good people watching out for her. Don't forget the buying of dolls and stuff.