My son takes two more parts of the GED tests. I am holding back my speech about what does he think he is going to do after the GED until he has the GED. He takes the writing part tomorrow and that will be interesting since even in this new school he blew that part of his school work off and didn't get along with the teacher. The man is skinny and he went as far as telling him he looks like his skinny Grandma. There are something that you shouldn't tell a teacher and if your teacher is a man that is probably one of them. The man is ugly skinny sort of like my Mom but that's a no no.

I took my son to do his weekly grocery shopping with ten bucks so we will see how he will do.

He bought a 12 pack of soda. He was going to pay over 3 for a bag of cheetos but I showed him the sign that he can get two bags for three dollars and he got a container of ice cream.

Maybe, next week I will drive him up to our local Aldi"s because ten dollars could go so much further.

just thinking out loud.

I used to tell myself that I could have raised Izzy well enough if I had support from my family. As I have wrote some about my childhood and as things that to this day still have an effect from my upbringing come up. There are things that are reminding me because of raising my son. For example, the pot use was a huge trigger for me. I know in the sceme of things pot isn't a horrible serious drug but my Mom did things to get pot and to sell pot right in front of myself and in the later years my children. So, when I think of pot it's not as in oh my God that's going to kill you or your going to go crazy and kill someone. It's my Mom hid drugs on me once. My Mom took us into the low income (projects) was what they were always called to buy drugs and I didn't understand as a little girl why my Mom didn't call the police.

I stayed away from my Mom's place when my kids were young because she would deal it and smoke it around my kids. I would think is this so serious that you can't wait for our visit to be over?

Also, as I struggle with the effects of my Mom not paying attention to me with my school (memories) coming up because how ironic is it that my son is at the same alternative school.

I was telling my husband at some point we can't put all the blame on Dad. I had a worse upbringing that he has had and I still pulled my head out of my butt and did what I needed to do to get an education. I guess we could say since he has passed two of the tests for the GED that he has pulled it out. I think a lot of my change of heart of school as a teen had to do with authority making me go to school for 8th and 9th grade.

I had my daughter in 9th grade and I felt like because I was in labor at school and all that went down with the school knowing that they just pulled me in and watched out for me. I would say that I had about 4 to 6 people who checked up on me in some way.

It's also ironic that the same school district. (city is a 20 min drive away from my current city) is the same one that didn't take action when my son was not going to school when living with his Dad. When I learned of all the absences they said they don't do truancy in high school.

Back to being able to take care of Izzy. I guess I been mentally fooling myself to think that I could have taken care of her with family support. What a joke. My Mom wasn't taking care of her four children. She sent the oldest on packing and couldn't send me packing because I was a babysitter for the youngest two. I know that I could have loved Izzy. That's the easy part. I could have fed her and changed her diapers but I don't suppose I would have had the money to buy what she needed.

I am not sure where all this is even coming from. I guess it could because of my oldest sons age or the fact that Izzy's parents have been really good to her. It could be the low self esteem coming from not being allowed to be her Mom. I have lived in fear of my sons just going away.

P. S. If any police officers are reading this. I swear I didn't know it was a drug. haha and you didn't hear about my Mom's drug abuse from me.

Donation of baby supplies

I couldn't find a used diaper bag and I couldn't justify buying a brand new one for MELD and the things to go in it. I just decided to forget the fill a diaper bag idea and just donate items to MELD. I added about ten bucks to the money that was donated to MELD thru my blog.

I am giving them

A package of new born diapers
baby wipes
baby soap
a tiny baby bottle
baby brush and comb set
2 pack of body suites otherwise known as onsies.
one new born sleeper
one 3 to 6 month summer/spring type outfit.
one 2 t outfit or pj's (looks like it could go either way. It would amaze me if a 2 year old could actually wear it. I wish I could have done more but there is always other times for that.

Currently, we are on a break from group and I signed up again and most likely I will continue to show every other week. It works out best for me. I get to the Y two to three times a week. Also, on most weeks I get a day out with a friend. Don't forget sometimes taking it easy at home with my husband.

Sorry this post is kind of late. My computer doesn't work for the chip and I have to ask to use my husbands.

nail polish

I blogged about a no chip nail polish. I wanted to write about it real quick cause someone asked me the same of it. It's called Shellac. It's a 3 part deal. A clear undercoat. The nail color of your choice. However, they only seem to have about 6 to 8 colors to choose from. then, they do a top coat.

I did it again today. The polish didn't chip but my nails had grown out and a few of them broke to make them look bad.

One downside besides the lack of colors is that it's hard to get the polish off. He had me soak my hands in finger nail polish remover and kind of scraped it off with his finger nails. Also, since it is a little pricey I can't imagine that most people want change the colors often.

I personally want pretty nails and don't want to run to the nail salon too often so as long as this polish keeps true to it's word then I am hooked.

My husband suggested a french manicure sometime ya know where it's clear nails and pink tips. Does any know if you can pull that off if your nails are short. Mine don't grow very well. I did notice that I went longer without broken nails.

Question

I was asked this question. I am going to attempt my best to answer it but it might not be easy for two reasons. 1. I haven't any experience raising an adopted child and haven't researched the ages to talk about adoption loss ect. 2. It might be hard for me because I would hope I can be biased in answering but that's easier said than done.

Here is the question.

If you were in charge of what daughter's a-parents said to her as she was growing up, what would you have wanted them to say to your daughter about you? And at what point is it healthy and what point would it be difficult for your daughter to know about your adoption plan? How much is too much?

I decided that my answer got too personal and posted it at my private blog. If your not invited I am sure we can change that.

I hope my ads don't bother anyone or the loading of the blog. Feel free to click cause my pennies are adding up.

kid stuff

We finally talked to my oldest son about chores. We were worried that our younger son could be seeing how Alex doesn't do much. We made up a list of things he needs to do Monday thru Friday. We figure about 20 minutes at the most for the work. We explained that the "allowance" Stephen gets is more school related than housework related.

We kind of killed two birds with this one. We decided his payment would be about 15 a week but ten of it is so he can go to the store and buy snacks and or soda and that he can store them in his room (if possible) and the snacking in our cabinets will stop. We assured to him that he is expected to eat his three meals a day and of course still help himself to fruit, milk and juice on occasion.

This arrangement will leave him with five bucks of pocket change. He takes his first part of the GED test tomorrow and within 2 to 3 weeks should be done with it. My plan is to take him places so he can apply for a job. Honestly, I don't want to pay a 17 year old allowance because I feel he is at the age where he can earn his own money outside of me. But for now, I will do this to try to keep the peace at home. My long term hope for my son is that he will want to enroll in classes at the community college and get his head out of his butt to do what he needs to do to pass classes.

I really hope my son passes all the tests and does what he needs to do. I don't know if my marriage can survive or my family can if I am forced to kick him out because he makes his career at video games and movies.

Looking for a new blog to read. Check these out.

I really enjoyed doing the interviews that were posted recently. Thanks again to those that volunteered for me. One of my questions that I put out there for all of them was to tell me their favorite blogs and I wanted to dedicate a post to give a shout out to those blogs mentioned. I admit that I haven't had time to go check them all out but figure if I can put them all in one spot then I can remember them more easily.

Jenn listed this one for adoptive Mom's blog. Go here

Another one she suggested is this one.


My second interview was with Wendy. When asked to tell me a blog about open adoption she gives me this one. Go here.

Another blog she suggested was this one. Surf over here for it.

When asked to list a blog written by birthmothers she listed this one. Go here for the first one she mentioned.


Another one she mentioned was one that is on my blogroll. Go here.

Just adding my two cents but what I find very interesting about the blog mentioned above is that she found her child's adoptive parents thru blogging and we have been able to see adoption from both sides together but on different blogs. Check out the adoptive Mom's blog here.

Another blog mentioned by Wendy was this one here.


Leah was my final blog interview that I did. I found that I was more nervous writing the questions for fear of saying something dumb cause of her adoption being international. After, I got started with it. I did feel at ease with coming up with the questions.

The blog she mentioned was a blogger that also adopted from Eithopia. You can check out this blog here.