Monday, January 24, 2011

Just a couple questions unrelated to adoption

These may seem silly but oh well.

How many pairs of jeans or pants do you keep for your everyday wear for yourself or your children?

I am asking this because lately, I can't buy jeans for my ten year old. I try to do it when he isn't with me but I end up screwing it up. I wish my husband would take over this chore and take him to get his clothes. I am just asking he take him not use his own money.

The reason why I am asking this because for a while now, we have been trying to get buy with only two pairs, because I haven't been able to get the right size. So, today, I sent him in a pair of my husband's and they actually fit, but this made my husband mad. His mother never taught him how to share. I told my husband that I felt his never finding the time to take him shopping to maybe be trying to control how I spend my money. He agreed and says that two pairs of jeans is enough.

I disagree. I tried to get away with only two pairs for myself because I am cheap but I just felt like they were constantly looking dirty and I bought myself two more pairs. I don't want to do laundry daily so I like having more than less.

Another question. At what age, do you expect your children to tell the person cutting their hair how to do it. My oldest son is 16 and I expect him to do this but he acts all weird like he doesn't have a brain. In two years, he could be living on his own. I think this is something they have to learn how to do. At 18, they could be getting their own way, paying for it and deciding how it's done. I figure at 16, he could at least decide how to get it cut and tell the person how. After all, isn't it our job as parents to teach them to do things on their own.


Leah said...

I know every family has a different financial situation, but for me and for my children, two pairs is definitely not enough. I have about 6 pairs of jeans, and of those 6, I would say 3-4 are really my favorite and the other ones I only wear if my favorites are dirty. I know some people who have 10+ pairs of jeans, and to me, that is excessive. For me, I can get away with washing jeans once or twice a week, and still have clean jeans to wear. Perfect.

And with hair. . . I think at 16, one should definitely be making their own decision. Perhaps your son truly doesn't care what style of haircut he has, but he should/could be deciding.

Amanda said...

My son has 400 million pairs of jeans but that's because people keep buying them for him. In reality, he should have like 7 pairs because he's 2 and super messy.

I think for a teenager or adult 4 pairs of jeans is reasonable. I think I have 3 or 4 pairs. When I was thinner, I had a lot more because I enjoyed being more fashionable when I had more wardrobe opportunities available to me.

Maybe planning before-hand about the hair could help him learn? Tell him he has to look online or in a magazine and pick out a picture. If he doesn't care, he should at least be able to tell the hair stylist how much shorter he wants it to be and then let them know they can cut it however he or she thinks is nice.

Sometimes I do that. I'll just tell them that I only want it an inch shorter but they can freshen the style of it however they think looks good with my face shape. I've stopped trying to have hair like the pictures in the magazines lol.

chicks3 said...

I think your son needs at least 5 pairs of jeans.That way he will have one clean for each school day if you don't have time to do the laundry.

Life with Kaishon said...

Kaish doesn't have any jeans. He doesn't like them. He is very picky! He has about 6 pairs of khakis which he wears every day but only 3 fit right now. He went through a huge growth spurt.
Barbara Walters was talking about her daughters birth mother today. She said she asked her daughter when she was 21 if she wanted to find her and she said NO WAY I have had enough issues with you as the mom I already have : ) I thought that was funny.

Jeannette said...

I have 2 pairs of jeans because I am super picky. I'm really curvy but on the small size so it is very hard to find jeans that fit.

As for my kids they need one pair for each school day. I don't want to have to find their jeans every day to wash. For us about 5 pairs per kid works.

Hair cuts - my 12 year old daughter is VERY picky about the style. My 14 year old will tell me exactly how he wants it cut. My 16 year old also Alex doesn't have much of an opinion. But if they cut it bad than he gets upset. He is very quiet and shy and gets nervous around adults - especially females.

birthmothertalks said...

Thanks everyone for the comments. Today, my husband went out and bought my son two pairs of jeans so that will make it easier to keep up on it. My son is only ten but tall and anymore taller then he has to start getting jeans from the mens section. My children are growing too fast!
Life with Kaishon, I don't know the situation with Barbara Walters and her daughter but first off, I am not sure what that has to do with me talking about jeans. Sometimes, I just want to talk about other issues and not always about adoption. Your right some adoptive children are not interested in searching for their first parents. However, sometimes that could change. Again, I am not sure why you felt like you needed to bring it to my attention. Maybe, I am being overly sensitive and if so then I am sorry.

Laurie said...

I agree when I read that commenter, I thought it was odd she chose to share that with you. Hmmmm....maybe just "making conversation". This just doesn't seem like the blog to share that information!!

My boys have 3-4 pairs of jeans each plus khakis, corderoys,athletic pants, cargos, and church pants. I feel your pain!! My son is in a major growth spurt and is now needing size 8's when is he just 6 years old!! Wowza. :)

Life with Kaishon said...

I was just making conversation. I thought of you when I heard it and I thought I would share it. I don't have your email. I didn't mean it in any unkind way at all.

I come to this site because I love knowing how you feel today, many years after the adoption has taken place. I come here because I want to make sure I am sensitive and always making sure my son has complete and full access to his mother. I don't even call her birth mom. She is his mother.

I don't know what I am. I just know that I love him more than anything in the whole world.
More than anything.

I don't know why you are angry with me. I try to add interesting conversation.

birthmothertalks said...

Life with Kaishon,
I have an email address posted on my blog. I wasn't mad at you but I thought the comment was odd timing and sometimes I do just want to blog about other issues and not be the poster woman for adoption. I know that doesn't make sense because I blog about adoption. My husband does it to me all the time tries to engage me in conversation about every case that is out there about adoption and sometimes I just don't want that on my mind.
It's really nice that you like to check in on how I am doing. I can assure you that I am not the only person that still hurts from an adoption that took place a long time ago.
I am not all about pain. I have reunited with my daughter and on Sunday my sons met their sister for the first time. I blog about that in a private blog because I just want to respect her privacy. Reunion has brought me great joy. But it doesn't mean that I still sometimes don't get sad. I am happy the way you talk about your sons birthmom and don't feel threaten by her. That isn't the case with every one though.

Campbell said...

Jeans and hair...funny you mention them. Although now that my son is soon to be 21 we rarely go clothes shopping together, he still says I'm the best one to buy jeans with. I hate shopping, so we do it quick and I engage the store staff in the adventure (horror) of buying jeans, something my son wouldn't do on his own. I think that's why he liked me being there.

My son was the same with the hair. Not interested in telling them how to do it because he just didn't know how to tell them and I believe was intimidated in that setting. It didn't bother me that he relied on me for this. On the other hand, I did have him doing his own laundry quite young by some people's standards.

"..Sunday my sons met their sister for the first time." Wow!

birthmothertalks said...

I wouldn't mind my son doing his own laundry but first lets just hope he picks up his soda cans. :)
Wow is the right word to describe my sons meeting Izzy. If you want to see pictures, I would send you an invite to my private blog.I would just need an email.

Campbell said...

"I wouldn't mind my son doing his own laundry but first lets just hope he picks up his soda cans. :)"

Lol oh my sons soda cans still can go for days til they're picked up too, don't get me wrong. Many times they're just sitting there in amongst the laundry HE needs to get done ; )