Sunday, July 28, 2013

Today, my husband and I split the time we watched our grand daughter. We did it due to his new job overlapping the times where my step daughter won't need a babysitter anymore. He did the 5 am stuff and I got up at my normal 8 am and took my son and granddaughter to the church with me where I babysit as a part time job.

We made a day of Nana being in charge. That is something that rarely happens so it was nice to get out and do fun things. After babysitting, we went on a trolley ride and it was fun. I have been on it before and it's becoming one of our summer tradations.

A few more shots just cause I love sharing.

One more of all three of us.

After the trolley ride I had my husband drop us off at DQ and the three of us had lunch and then my grand daughter's parents picked her up and gave us a ride home.

It was a fun day. I even enjoyed staying home without the car. I did a little much needed cleaning and even cooked my husband dinner so he could eat when he comes in soon.

I was bvery excited not to have to work today so it's official I have my weekend back!!

New jobs

My husband started training for his new job today. It took some juggling of rides, babysitters and again rides coming home.

It's going to be a challenge to make it work due to the distance and the babysitter issue.

Today, my son's father and stepmom babysat him. He is officially not paying support as of right now and he let it slip that he "would be working" when I dropped Stephen off. I asked " so you have a job?" He said, "it's a temp job" I left it at that due to us needing babysitting.

I am torn to do anything with this information. I don't know how many days he is working or what the situation is. Maybe, he will send payment. One could always hope that he will do what is right and send some money even if it's twenty bucks here and there. I have back to school stuff to think about and it won't be cheap getting him back to school.

His wife works for the schools too and I know she is working part time so only partial checks for part of the summer and then no money.

We are only a month away from school starting and I really don't want to think about the school stress but that is when Dad goes back to work. So most likely, I won't do anything and let him hang himself or not hang himself. He will owe for the weeks he didn't pay.

Alex started his new job this week!! I feel so much better just knowing he will have somewhat of a way to support himself. I think he felt weird about it being McDonald's but there is no shame in that.. Especially not in a young person like him..Now if I am 29 umm mean 37 years of age and working at McDonald's running the drive thru then maybe I would admit to being ashamed of it.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013


Alex came into town yesterday so he could get a copy of his birth certificate. We think we gave it to him and it was lost but he says otherwise.. So he had to buy a new one. He stopped at home just for a minute to say hello. I thought he looked quite a bit better compared to what he has been looking like.

Can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it was the purple polo shirt instead of just a tshirt or the self confidence he has gained by getting a job and seeing dollar signs again. He mentioned trying to save money and hopes to get his own place in two months.

He had his orientation yesterday and tomorrow starts his new job at McDonald's. Hope he will take it serious and this is a step in the right direction for him.

There is a part of me that wishes he did this when he lived with us but maybe it took him not living with us to do it.

I am thinking that living with someone else and doing nothing and bringing nothing to the table would make him feel more like a mooch compared to if he did it living with Mom.

Anyways, I feel like a lot has been lifted off my shoulders.. not that I was paying his way but as a Mom I feel better just knowing he will have money coming in to feed himself and take care of himself.

Monday, July 22, 2013

My biggest supporter

That would happen to be my husband! He has been very supportive and encouraging of me during my weight loss journey. He does a lot to make it possible for me to give myself the time I need to do it.

He cooks more than his fair share to make it possible that I can get to the YMCA at least three times a week. He has been okay with moving dinner time around so I can make whatever class or run I want to make it to. This has helped keep my workout routine fun.

He has been willing to keep Stephen home at times when it just doesn't work to take him or to save the arguement that Stephen might give since he hasn't really been enjoying going.

My husband has shown interest and come down to the Y on National Dance day when they did zumba outside.

He has been very understanding about my need to weigh my food portions and has even been known to weigh out some leftovers and have the weights of them written down so when I thaw them later to eat I know the calorie count.

He has been very willing to do fruit runs in the middle of the week when we are out of fruit.

Hmmm.. that's all I can think about for now..

I did forget to mention on this blog that I have gotten my weight low enough to weight under 200lbs!!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

What to do

My Dad might be moving into his wife's father's place so they can help take care of the old man who needs 24/7 care but can't afford it. Ironic that I work for a company and no one in my family can afford it.

My problem is that my Dad has asked me to take one of their dogs. The other one is old and is beyond needing to be put to sleep. This isn't a small dog. It's a Rot!! I belive she is older but much bigger than my lab.

We been getting used to only having two dogs and liking it.

My Dad is willing to pay all the costs of the dog but that's not our issue.

It's the issue of the extra time to care for another dog.

The issue on the size of her.

The issue of the fact that my lab doesn't want to share me and has been known to want to fight if she is jealous. I love my lab so much. She is my favorite dog even with her faults of being jealous.

I would be so upset if anything fatal happened to any dog due to her.. It doesn't help that Dad's dog is bigger than her..

At her her house she isn't the dominant one so maybe she would settle into allowing Ann (lab) to be the leader of the pack.

I feel like I am being left to decide on the fate of the dog. If we don't take her she will most likely go to the pound.

My Dad believes the Rot is 8 years old so it wouldn't be a long time right? I know that sounds horrible!!

What would you all do?? Would you take on his Dog for the sake of maybe saving it's life or go with your fears and comfort level and stick with the two dogs?

Friday, July 19, 2013

My Mom

My relationship with my Mother has always been on the rocks. I feel like because we have seen quite a bit of each there is a chance that we are at a turning point where we can make the effort and start having some sort of relationship or when my sister moves away there is also the chance that things will slip back into old patterns and I won't see her again until the holidays and that's not a for sure thing since my sister is moving away so not sure what will be happening with the holidays.

There is a part of me that wants to work things out with her but feels like their is an elephant in the room with us. I am not sure that can ever go away. I am not ready to really open up my heart and trust her with the details about Izzy and reunion. So any relationship I have with her will be at a distance.

We all did have a nice time when my sister, my mom, my son and myself went to Six flags and all that.

My sister and I had planned a road trip to a tourist town a couple hours from us and she asked me if she thought she should invite our Mom. She said Mom had mentioned liking to go so would I want to invite her or go just the two of us.

I said to invite her so I believe she is wanting to go. I was pretty honest when I said I didn't care one way or another if she went or not.

I didn't have the heart to tell my sister no to bringing our Mom.

My Mom's birthday was just a few days ago and I did write her an email telling her Happy birthday and told her what we had been up to during the weekend.

I guess only time will tell what will happen with our relationship.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Do you fries with that??

Alex got a job!! I am so excited for him!! I am very relieved that he will start being able to take care of himsef.

Did you guess that his job is McDon@ld's? It was my first job and his father's first job. When Alex had the job at the grocery store.. I thought how he lucked out and escaped the fast food place as being his first job.

When I talked to him yesterday he did mention some hunting for jobs and even admitted soms perstering for jobs.. Did some of our earlier talks of telling him to keep on showing your face pay off?

I think it's amazing that my husband and my son both got a job within a 7 day period.. Part of me wonders why this couldn't have happened with Alex living at home but maybe it took Alex not living at home to actually make him come to terms with needing a job and looking for one and following up.

Now if I could just my son's father to get a job so he will pay child support. He is offically getting further behind since the last payment was short.

Well anyways,I am very happy for my son. I think this will do him a world of good. Give him some peace of mind just for the fact that he has some money in his pocket and improve his self esteem.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Renting college books!!

Recently both of my sister's managed to graduate from College. I am very thrilled for them. I know they worked hard and sacarficed time and money to furthur their education. I know one thing that they mentioned on a few occasions was the cost of the books they purchased for their classes and then the low amount that the school's will buy them back for if they even do so at all. I know their situation is pretty common problem with college students.

I am sure in some classes it's nice to retain the book but wouldn't it be great to save some money and not have the books just sitting and collecting dust.

I discoved this cool website that will rent books to you for college. You can check them out by visiting their website here

A couple neat things that they offer is free shipping back and forth and I think it's neat that they allow you to highlight in the books as if you owned them.

I like how this businss is giving back to those in need and this is another reason why I wanted to mention them on my blog.

2013 is a new year, with a mix of old and new in our making a difference program. First off, they have partnership with Operation Smile. They are an awesome organization that performs life changing cleft lip surgeries on children whose families could not otherwise afford it. The long term improvement in quality of life for the children that receive these surgeries is almost incomprehensible. We’re honored to support the children of Operation Smile.

They have also set aside $90,000 in textbook scholarships to be distributed to students in communities just like yours. That’s a lot of books, and they hope to touch a lot of students who could use a hand.

So when you spend your dollars with this company and save money.. you are helping others who need help.

I just heard about this company and wish I knew something about this from when I stepped my foot in the door at college. I remember trying to sell the expensive books back to the college and just keeping them due to the crazy low amount they offered me.

I believe a company that offers rental books could make some difference in people actually be able to obtain their college degree. I have seen students struggle in school because they can't afford to pay for the books that they need for the class.

So if your going to college or know anyone make sure they are aware of this company doing book rentals.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

visit with Alex

My husband, Stephen and myself went to see Alex today. It's a little bit of a drive but not much. I have been there about 3 or 4 times since he moved in April but this is the first time my husband has been and this is the first time that we hung out in Alex's area.

We had plans to come on Saturday but with the job interview it just wouldn't work. So we decided to come on Sunday. It wasn't the perfect timing since I had to work until almost 3 pm but we went anyways. I had thought about a picnic or a cookout.. but he didn't know anywhere with grills and I am all sandwiched out so we decided that I wouldn't bring food.

We did stop at an ice cream stand and had some yummy twist cones. It's always a tradition of mine to go to a certain place but I haven't been there yet this summer. but this was the same kind of style of ice cream shop. I love that they are still around.

I wanted to go to a park and was shocked that Alex doesn't seem famliar with the area yet.. Maybe it's cause he isn't driving and does most of his getting around on bikes. We stopped at one place and I didn't really feel like it was the place I had seen and been wanting to go to so we explored another park but not before I got a couple pictures.

Is it me or does Alex look too thin? Is my perception off?

I like this shot.

We got to the other park and it was right on the river. I sat on a boat dock and enjoyed putting my feet in the river. Stephen did the same thing but Alex didn't. He never was too much the type to wear shorts or flip flops so not dressed for dipping feet in water.

I then went exploring the park more. I was hoping to see grills so maybe another time I could cook out there but I didn't see any.

I did find a place where you could rent paddle boats or bikes. It was a really good price cause it was full of alge. It was a 2 person boat or 4 person boat and it seemed like my husband and Alex didn't want to go.. so Stephen and I did go for 30 minutes and we sucked at steering the darn thing.

After getting home my husband said that since I came to see Alex that I should have gone on the boat with Alex and not Stephen. I didn't get the impression that Alex wanted to go.. my husband thinks Alex stayed back cause he knows his brother would have pitched a fit. If Alex had wanted to go I would have psid for a second trip cause it was only 2.50

All and All it was a nice visit. I think I might be able to take this trip on my own. I hope to be able to go within a couple weeks while the trip is still fresh in my mind.

My husband

My first post to brag about my husband is that he jumped at a very good chance to get a job once it was brought up for him that it was possible.

My sister and her bf are moving in a few weeks and he works for a gas station that is owned by a guy that only hires one person to work to give him some time off.

My husband had an interview yesterday and got the job!!

The truth is that he won't be watching our grand daughter after a couple more weeks due to her parents deciding to do split shifts to avoid paying for a babysitter.. I been scrambling trying to figure out how I could earn more and more money and it wasn't working so far. I admit that I have an garnishment agaisnt me from way back when I lost a lot of income by my clients going into a retirement home. My working more has actually in some sense made my checks smaller cause it pushed me right over the edge where they garnish it.

The hours are almost perfect!!! He will work at least 23 hours between Saturday and Sunday and possible other nights if the owner wants time off to do something with his family. He will earn more money in the 23 hours once a week than he did watching our grand daughter.

I wish we all lived in this fairy tail world and could keep watching our grand daughter and make it on the amount that they thought was fair and could afford to pay him. It's been such a nice thing having her around and watching her grow and I know things won't quite be the same without her. Although, we have been living with the fear that Mom might quit her job or the shifts change all the time so it might be nice to just accept it for what it is and move in. She of course will always be our grand daughter.. just this part of being involved in her life at this level is ending.

I am so proud how my husband handled jumping on the chance to interveiw this job and taking it. He hasnt had a job outside of the home in over 2 years and I know it's a big change but I think he is ready for it.

It's going to take some getting used to. We will be needing a babysitter ourselves every other weekend when Stephen isn't with his Dad. I will be putting in an request to take my Sunday's back so I won't be missing my two day weekend. I think it will be nice to have sometime with my son without my husband home. Just hope my job accepts the hour change request form.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Judging my a comment left on my last post.. I am wondering if I write on here complaining too much of my husband and painting him in a bad light. I know it's easy sometimes to get caught up in what ticks me off compared to what good he is doing. My husband is a great guy. He treats me well. He treats Stephen well. He tried his best with Alex and considering the background that we have due to divorce when Alex was 12 and the drinking problem that my husband had way back when.

I am not a perfect. I don't come here and spill my guts about my faults. I only told one friend how when my husband was giving his son quite a long ride but not horriblly long ride to catch a train that I made sure that the car would need gas to better protect myself from footing the bill. Truth is my husband knew my thinking and still loves me... and the truth is if it was Alex most likely I wouldn't have done that.

I don't think it's a secret that our relationships with our raised children is going to be much different than the reltionship with children that came into our lifes at a much different age.

I am going to have to work harder at writing about the good things because there are happy times in our lifes with each other. We do get really caught up with being parents and working that we don't always make time for each other.

So my goal is going to be to at least once a week for the rest of the summer to write about something good that I like about my husband or something we did togther or something nice that he did for my kids.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

How to divide chores

At the moment, my husband is a stay at home Dad who is employed babysitting our granddaughter for what I consider a low paying job but that seems to be the thing for babysitting.. but that's not my point. The stay at home thing will probably be changing soon.

Well, anyways, I work 35 hours a week plus my babysitting at the church. With the last few weeks, I have increased my hours so I actually only have Monday off now. So in total I am probably working slightly over 40. I happen to get downtime where I might be waiting anywhere from 45 minutes to up to over an hour for a shift to start where I am not paid. This could happen a couple times a week. I try to make good use of the time for myself like walking but with the heat it might cause a problem since it wouldn't be good to go to my next shift sweating.

Lately, I been feeling jealous of how clean all my clients place is.. Mostly the one that lives in her home and as 24/7 a week care. I do get there is a difference between 3 people living at my place, two dogs, one cat and two bunnies.. where my client has one person that lives there.. one could say it's two if you count the fact that there is always a caregiver in the house. She does have a dog.. The dog gets regular hair cuts because money isn't an issue for her. She can afford the 50 bucks or so every 6 weeks for his haircut.

I even get that my client is paying big bucks and we keep the house up because it's part of our job. The 3rd shift caregiver doesn't typically do any cleaning since the client is sleeping. I understand that my company is holding us (caregivers) to a higher standard and they expect it to be kept in tip top shape.

I guess what I am getting at is that I am tired of how place looking so messy. I know that I should probably start doing a litle more than what I do currently. Especially the little things that bug me that might not bug him.

I just think if a few more hours per week were put into cleaning the house that it could look much better. At my clients house we do clean up the kitchen after each meal and it's expected to be mopped twice a week and laundry down twice a week ect.. I don't believe the amount of hours cleaning it more than an hour or two per shift because it's kept up.

My husband sort of talked to my little sister about doing some deep cleaning and paying for her do it since he isn't good at it.. I thought about it and I would just find it weird so I don't want to do that.. I even thought about hiring someone to do it but the reality is that we can't afford it.

I know our situation is a little backwards where I am the primary bread winner in my household. I even admit that I am the first to think that he should mow the lawn or fix the car cause he is "the man" I mean no offence by putting it that way.. But

My husband stays home with my 13 year old son and our 3 year old grand daughter. I don't doubt that he does a good job taking care of them. I know that spending time with the children especially the 3 year old who says "watch me Papa" to a certain extent comes first and dust and dishes can wait.

Maybe, it's even possible that I don't realize the amount of work he does do and I would notice if he went away for a few days.

So how do you all divide the chores? If one person works full time how many hours per week of household chores for example should they do? Or maybe a certain chore that they do?

Oh.. I got some exciting news about my job. Pop over to my private blog to check it out.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

read a good book lately?

Well, I have. I read When I found you by Catherine Ryan Hyde. I am sure it's not a secret that I tend to like to read books with some kind of adoption story in them. I find them very interesting and I just can relate to a lot of them and get insight from those that I don't quite relate to.

This book was just amazing. It's just a loving story but has it's sad moments. It's on sale right now thru Amazon. I have it on my kindle. I can assure you that if you get this book. The chances are your going to not want to put it down. Good news is that it's a long book so hopefully you won't speed through it too fast. If you read it. Come back and let me know if you loved it as much as I did.

Friday, July 5, 2013


I got off work early yesterday and decided to go to my two new favorite stores. Old Navy and Kohl's. Kohl's seems like the place where I first break into a new size of pants. I got brave enough to try on one pair of jeans size 8 and two shorts of size 8. Both shorts fit but the pants didn't. Here is a picture of me in size 8 shorts. I didn't buy them though.

I did buy this skirt and matching shirt!! Now I just have to get a free night from kids, work and have a few bucks to have a date night. I have never been a fan of dressed and skirts and I am starting to like them.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

day trip

The readers that have been following my blog for a long time know what I don't have the best relationship with my Mom. We just don't see each other much and neither one of us has really worked too hard at having one. I think I have tried more than her and so I had given up on having one. The only thing keeping us in contact at all has been other family members. This half of year I have seen my Mom more times than I normally do in at least a whole year.

It was at my sister's graduation in May that my Mom said that my sister wanted to go to Great American before she leaves town and would I want to go too and she would pay my way. I said, yea and Stephen would love to go too. I didn't know if she would pay for him or not but I couldn't run off to Great America and leave him home.

I am not at all into roller costers and scary rides. I was talked into a couple rides but there were some that I just wouldn't get on. I refused to get on a wood roller coaster. Wood rots!! That was my excuse. I screamed the whole time and felt like I needed to hold on or I would fall out. haha

I can't say that I love roller coasters but glad that I can actually say that I went on a couple of them.

It was fun to see my Mom in such a casual way of having fun at amusement park. It's a side of each other that we have never seen in my adult years. My Mom paid for everything! It was nice not to have the burden of the costs of the day on me.

I don't know where we will go from here. If we will continue to see each other on somewhat of a regular basis or if we will fall back into old patterns of ignoring each other. I did email her and thank her again for the trip and said how much fun we had.

I guess only time will tell.... I can't say if I would want to be along with her or not. It's just so complicated. My sister moves at the end of next month and she is one of the people that has held our family together. She is also the person my Dad and brother rely on way too much.

I hope no one expects me to jump in and take her place.