It doesn't look like Alex has made any attempts to look for a job and my sister's boyfriend was questioning him about school and work and what are you going to do with your life. My son says he wants to be a counslor but admits he is lazy.
I have changed the times we will lock the doors for the night. It will be 11 pm all nights except for the three evenings I work late and am awake already. I know longer will stay awake to midnight so he can play. I am thinking of giving it a few weeks and making it ten pm. I am not in panic mode about the april deadline but close.
My husbnad doesn't think he will take us serious because we don't always follow thru with stuff. I suppose that's all of our faults. It's been such a challenge to bring him here and having him live 3 and half years living as his Dad's roommate to now a kid who is now actually an adult but without all the adult respsonsabilities.
My husband is suggesting that we soon only allow him to eat one meal a day. I don't know about that. Also what's to stop him from helping himself when we are asleep?
I am just so ready for him to be able to take care of himself. When I take care of Stephen's needs and wants I don't want to feel bad because Alex needs things. I am just very ready to take care of my youngest child and move on with my family of 3 or 4 but the 4th must be an helpful member of the family and not just out for a good time.
I think a lot of it is that Alex just wants to compare himself to Stephen and if Stephen gets that he should too. Hope that I can brag about his new job soon.
I have yet to give him a bus pass. I keep meaning to buy one on the same day I am in the area to petion the courts for a raise in child support and I keep stalling. It's the time I have to put into it and the stress of dealing with pissing of my ex.
It doesn't help Alex with the job searching that it's very cold here. But that can't be an excuse. Cold or not. People still need to earn a living and eat.
4 comments:
I almost didnt comment. Really youre gonna do what you want anyway. He is at an age that there are expectations of him becoming responsible. Contributing rent regardless of if hes employed. IF HE HAD AN APT. & LOST HIS JOB, he would be out hunting another job so he could stay there. If hes living there you really cant begrudge him his meals why? because u created this problem. Foster kids get to keep living in their foster homes alot of time, as long as they contribute. Other foster kids that age out hustle up to get jobs and pay their own way. Hes your Bio kid. I already said your april deadline to him is a free ride til a couple wks before. I dont care how cold it is out. If you were outta work you wouldnt care if it was too cold, you would go looking anyway. you are enabling. sorry thats the truth.
Enabling is enabling. You need to buy the bus pass, adjust the job deadline, feed him cause he lives there and remember this your younger son is very aware of what all is going on and will pattern his behavior after his big Brother.
If u were outta work...You would be beating the pavement despite the weather. When I interviewed & hired people, when they went that extra mile by dressing well or came anyway to apply or interview DESPITE BAD WEATHER they were higher on my hire list. Good Luck
I almost didnt comment. Really youre gonna do what you want anyway. He is at an age that there are expectations of him becoming responsible. Contributing rent regardless of if hes employed. IF HE HAD AN APT. & LOST HIS JOB, he would be out hunting another job so he could stay there. If hes living there you really cant begrudge him his meals why? because u created this problem. Foster kids get to keep living in their foster homes alot of time, as long as they contribute. Other foster kids that age out hustle up to get jobs and pay their own way. Hes your Bio kid. I already said your april deadline to him is a free ride til a couple wks before. I dont care how cold it is out. If you were outta work you wouldnt care if it was too cold, you would go looking anyway. you are enabling. sorry thats the truth.
and this prob wont be posted cause u have comment moderation which requires your approval.
You are welcome to your opinion and since I blog and put it out in the open I am not going to refuse a comment. I do moderate my comments but I rarely refuse to publish one. Maybe my April deadline was too far away but I am not going to change it now. I will continue to crack down on things as the date gets closer. I am aware that my younger son is seeing what is going on and that is why I am concerned about this situation. It doesn't help that my younger son is special needs and that makes things harder in my house. Your right about the bus pass. I need to stop stalling and get the pass and take the Dad back to court. I do need to crack down and start taking privileges like him having friends over ect.
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