Thursday, July 26, 2012


Today, was my first day of vacation!!! I don't go back until next Thursday. I have been looking forward to sometime off. I have been a little bummed out because up until last summer I wasn't working full time and it seemed easier to fit some of that summertime fun it.

We went to a water park that I love to go about two to three times a summer. I was bummed out that I hadnt been yet. I hope to get to go at least one more time. Today, I went with my sons and hopefully my sister's work hours and college classes will match up with one of my free days before it closes.

I used to be a scardy cat of water and slowly every year I am learning more and aiming to be a better swimmer. I didn't learn as a kid and didn't want my children going into middle school and not knowing how to swim. I refused to swim in school because I felt stupid for not knowing how.

Today, we were in the wave pool and taking turns in a two person tube. My oldest son when he wasn't in the tube would just bounce around with the waves.

Stephen tried this and it didn't work out so well. Alex flew off the tube and helped prevent Stephen from drowning. Alex struggled to keep his brother hanging on the bar that they have their for people in the wave pool. I felt sort of helpless cause I couldn't go help but no way could I swim in the deep water during waves.

I wasn't really worried cause it looked like they had it under control but I guess my son was stuggling to keep him up and was pretty upset that they were right under the nose of the life gaurd and he didn't help.

I am upset that he didn't help but I loved seeing Alex run to rescue his brother. It's moments like that when a little brother needs a big brother. I could think of many other times where we could have used his brother being around and he wasn't here.

I know we have our issues and life isn't perfect and my children are not either. We just have to keep trying to make things work in our house and find a balance that we all can live with.

Tonight, Alex, asked to go to the store with my husband and he blew him off. He tells me he doesn't want to hang with anyone but me and might as well take (insert neighbors name) to the store. I find that statement very sad. I get that he wants to escape on his own. I get that he isn't much of a people person. But for the words to come out of my husband's mouth and to think of how Alex would feel if he were to hear it makes me pretty sad.

My husband came off with from now on every time you leave the house you take him. Honestly, for some reason he doesn't always ask to go with me. I wonder if he asks to go with my husband because he feels like he is missing out on a father. His Dad has failed him over and over and continues to not keep his word and does some stupid things that my kids are not unaware of.

I try to get my son to see both sides to each story and consider the possiblities as why he did this or that. I also don't want to get up on a high horse and act like we haven't ever done anything stupid or not well thought out.

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