Saturday, July 7, 2012


A big part of my adoption story started when I went into labor at school. Well, when I went to school in labor. Guess, I was committed to going to school. :)
When I had to seek medical help from the nurse and told them that the baby was going to be put up for adoption. I think I told them that. My memories are so fuzzy.

There was this cris counslor that got involved with me and my family due to going into labor at school. I would hate to think of how I would carried on with 9th grade without the support from the school system froma few different people.

The top people that come to mind were the teacher that home schooled me. I reconnected with her probably about a year and half ago on facebook.

There was a truency officer that played somewhat a role in me actually attending school and made me quit playing games with the school. I always looked up to him for being so strict.

The crisis counslor who helped me quite a bit. He would call me down to the office every so often to check on me. When I would walk from class to class.. he was always standing there watching the students with a smile on his face.

I felt like with him I had someone in my corner watching out for me. When he found out that my Mom didn't get me any counseling after my daughter was placed for adoption he arranged for a lady to come out from an adoption agency to talk to me. She would rotate the times so I wouldn't miss too many of one class. I really don't remember how often she came out.

The counslor said he saw an improvement in me after the counseling. I don't know if it was true or not or just something he wanted to see. I continued to see the counslor after 9th grade ended. She would pick me up and we would go to a fast food place and I never was at ease with it. There just wasn't any privacy. Counseling about anything is a private matter and it didn't belong in a fast food place. So, enventually, I ended my services with her.

It's kind of ironic though that after either my daughter's 16th birthday that I called the same agency up looking for help because I hit rock bottom and couldn't cope on my own anymore.

The reason I am writing all this is that a while back I sent the crisis counslor an facebook friend request and didn't hear anything back. I did see that he was friends with the home school teacher and I sent her a request and she has been my son's adovocate for school.

Well, anyways, yesterday, I recieved notice from fb that he accepted my friend request and it's stired up a little bit of memories of 9th grade. He told me not to tell everyone that I had a baby. Basically they didn't need to know. Looking back, I wish he added more to it then they didn't need to know. It was the beginning of keeping a secret and deneying my daughter's exsistence. I don't blame him because I know that the kids would have treated me badly if they had the whole truth. Hell, they did even with me telling them "no, I didn't have a baby" No one believed me. I guess I looked the 9 months pregnant.

I remembered that he turned 50 when I was in school and I looked at a couple of his photos and he doesn't look older to me. It looks like time as been good to him. I always wanted to thank him for his help way back then and I actually did send cards to the school but never knew for sure if he had gotten them or not.

I used to day dream about seeing him again and telling him how much he helped. It never occured to me that I would ever get to say Thank You and tell him and tell him about meeting my daughter. I don't know if I will write him or not. It took him a year and half to accept the friend request and I think if I wrote him I would be on pins and needles waiting for his reply. Also, I sort of feel like in order to say thank you.. I need to sugar coat everything and all that. Who wants a thank you letter and life really sucked for a long time letter.

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