Friday, July 6, 2012


My oldest son isn't working and while he is home I sort of want to make him do things for his little brother. I don't mean to put him to taking care of him like I took care of my brother and sister. I wouldn't do that to him. His Dad made him take care of him years ago when I was working and my youngest was still in diapers. I know he resented that and I don't blame him.

Honestly, I want Alex to start moving into a grown up role with his brother. Today, they were suppose to take the bus and go swimming at the local pool but none of us thought about it being the 4TH of July. I felt so bad for my kids and it actually happened that I could come home and take them to the pool on my lunch break. It wasn't the same thing as them taking a trip on their own but they still were at the pool for a few hours without me and big brother had money that I had given him and was being "in charge" of it and not letting little brother spend up all the money in the first hour. We are seeing changes in Alex that are sort of new. Not that he is totally responsible and doesn't screw up but we been hearing him lecture his little brother about getting ready for things on his own as in getting his stuff ready for the pool or not blowing money.

Tomorrow, I am going to the zoo with my little sister and I can only take Stephen. There just isn't room in my sister's car and I can't afford to drive my own car. She asked me with only a couple days notice and I wasn't going to be able to go and she even suggested that I call in sick. I thought about it for a moment or two but thought it was just too risky.

I actually just talked to my job and was honest with them and asked if they would try to cover my two shifts for the day. I put it as in I would like to go but it's okay if I couldn't go. I think it helped that one of my clients had a major cool week and I dropped pictures off showing them the excitment. I suppose the office doesn't get always get to see the personal side of being a caregiver. Ya know, the memories and good times that we help create.

I felt pretty bad about big brother not being able to go but I feel lately that he goes off and is spending time with friends that it's sort of fair that he could not be included too. I still felt bad but he said it was okay but I told him I would make it up to him with a movie or something in a week or so.

Back to my point of this post. I don't know how much longer Alex will live with us. He could move in November or stay longer. I don't want to put too much on Alex but I want my sons to get the most out of their time as brothers living under the same roof. They lost about three years together and there were times that I felt like big brother should be looking after little brother. For example.. at the beginning of the school year.. a seventh grader who is one grade higher than Stephen hit him. Not that I think big brother, who was few years older, than the bully should beat him up but just the presence of him might have made a better impression than Mom. I want my boys to have what my sister and I had. They pick on each other but better not let anyone else mess with their brother.

I put big brother up to hanging out with little brother at the Y and I sneaked up on the two and caught him making little brother run on the treadmill. So, he is calling himself Stephen's fitness coach.

My husband and I were discussing how people are starting to view Alex as grown and that's probably why my sister to think to invite him plus not enough room in the car. We don't quite know how to manage with having a 12 year old and an umemployed 17 year old. Do we include both kids in on something fun? For exmample.. on a school day out for whatever reason.. once or twice a year.. I like to take Stephen to the movies.. Do I include Alex? The movies is sort of like a reward/break for all the hard work? Is it fair for Alex to get the same treatment when he isn't going to school?

The good news is that Alex is beginning to show interest in checking out the community college. He wants to be a counslor for teens. Well, I will end this on a good note.

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