Tuesday, June 12, 2012

How would you deal with this?

My best friend, I have known for about ten years. We each have two children and they are pretty close in age. Her son is slightly younger than Alex and her daughter is slightly older than Stephen.

Remember how my son got caught smoking pot? Well, her son later on got told on from another friend for doing the same thing. She took it as hard as I did and doesn't like it.

Honestly, I think her son is a good kid and very well mannered.

Our kids have always been around each other during my friends parties ect. It's lately that Alex is wanting to try to hang with her son.

This makes me nervous. I don't know if Alex is wanting to hang with him because of the pot situation or just wanting a friend.

I would never want anything to come between my friend and myself. She has been mostly the only friend I have had for years. I have recently made a couple new friendships through the retreat but it's not the same.

It's not that I have anything against any of the lovely women I have met at the retreat and have seen a few times since. It's just my friend Rachel and I have been friend for a long time.

We worked at the same place and she started giving me rides because my jerk of a husband didn't want to come get me. We had young kids and it was his excuse. It was a good one but ten o clock at night isn't the time for bus rides and walking.

Anyways, Rachel, started giving me rides and soon we started taking our lunches together and then our breaks.

I was with her along the way when she got out of the housing projects and got an habitat house.

She was there when I learned how to drive and we continued to be friends even though I didn't need the ride.

She was there when I got my divorce.

She was there when I married.

She was there thru the years while my son was in therapy for speech.

I was there when she went to college and got a degree.

She was there when I bought my house and got married.

I am afraid if our kids make poor decisions together that it could hurt our friendship and I just don't want that. I like exploring an relationship with my new friends and making my circle of friends a little bigger.

When Rachel and her husband were having trouble and she went away for the summer. I went to her house everyday to help with the dogs but we didn't really get to talk too much.

It reminded me of how lonely I could be without friends and I am glad that I do have a couple new ones.

It's just that there is nothing better than getting out with Rachel and letting everything out. We can talk serious shit or just bullshit. The best part of it is that we know each other. I can forget about my struggles and if the laughing bug strikes me at a moment where it's not typically funny she laughs with me.

Any suggestions on how to handle this? My son knows I am concerned and says "yes, I know Mom" However, it doesn't mean that he will take my friendship into consideration if they do stupid stuff.

The good thing is that my friend is pretty strict and has for the most part kept her son home so that might limit some of the trouble they could find.


Wendy said...

That's a tough one. I can see why you would be worried about your son as well as your friendship with your friend.

I guess if it was me, I would sit down with my son and talk more about it. I might even sit down with my friend and her son and have the 4 of us talk about it. Not sure if that's a possibility.

I wouldn't want to ruin a friendship in any way, but I also wouldn't want to encourage my child to be friends with someone if I was concerned about them getting into serious trouble.

The Busters said...

That's a tough one. Since I don't have a kid in their teens I don't have any experience with this. Maybe you could chat with your friend and just make sure you are both on the same page and both feel strongly about nothing getting in the way of the friendship. I hope nothing happens and it turns out to be a good thing!