Sunday, June 10, 2012

Empty Arms by Erika Liodice

I love my kindle. I crave books about adoption and it seems like I won't have trouble filling this need of mine. I am not allowing myself to only read about adoption cause I don't want to get stuck on it and possible risk depression from too much of it.

Anyways, I read Empty Arms and it was the second book that I paid for on my kindle. Having to pay for them is another selling point in not getting stuck with reading only adoption books on it.

I really liked the book. Right at the top it says a Mother never forgets. How true is that statement for a lot of birthmom's. This book was written during the times where women were sent away to have babies and they didn't quite know what was going on. The story reminded me of the Girls who went away and I believe that was my first adoption book I ever read.

This Mother ends of being one of those people that can't go on to have another child and I wonder how many times that happens to brthparents who release a child to adoption to go on and not be able to have a child.

In this story, she is fighting with her husband because he "just wants to adopt" She can't imagine "taking someone else's child" I can relate to this statement even though getting pregnant was never a problem for me. In my husband's and I conversations that we were mostly just hypothetical I said many times I couldn't take someone else baby to raise. I don't think I could be a good Mother to that child knowing that somewhere there is a Mother that loves this child and misses them. It would be a constant battle with my husband because I would have the adoption so open that the birthmother might as well live with me. I just know that I have lived on this side of the coin of adoption and don't want to flip it and know the other side and live with it.

I would have guilt. Was there something I could have done to help her raise her own child? A temporary place to stay? Help finding some needed baby supplies? A ride to the doctor? Some help getting WIC? Offer a little babysitting here and there?

A lot of these conversations took place when I was very deep into my depression and my husband would have loved to bring me a daughter to make me happy. You know men, right. They want to fix things. He never did bring me a daughter but over the years he suggested my black lab, brought me a baby bunny and suggested I adopt a cat. Sometimes, I get sad when I think how my cat, Bella, was in kitty jail. I look at her and say what was wrong with her for someone to leave her there? Did she miss the litter box? Puke? Or pee on someones new bed. Haha... she did that to us when we got a new bed recently. I think a lot of those thoughts come from just now allowing myself to give my animals away. Not that I haven't done it when my first husband and I had to choose between the two dogs or be kicked out.

Three years later, when the same apartments were being jerks and trying to kick me out over having a bunny. I showed them and bought a house.

Her Mother is looking like a bad guy in this book but the end reveals something very sneaky that she pulled off. I think this book had an unrealistic ending but why we can dream right.

I just found a free one called Second chance Mother by Denise Roessle but I haven't even started it yet. I have to finish my non adoption related book first.

Sorry I rambled on.

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