Wednesday, May 30, 2012

is it normal to be jelous of have kids if ir a birthmom?

Someone found my blog by searching the topic that I posted and I wanted to blog about it. I am assuming they meant is it jealous to be jealous of women with kids if I am a birthmom?

My first answer is hell yes. The years between having my daughter which was placed for adoption and until 3 years later when I had my first son which I raised was crazy. I used to say a pregnant girl and feel sad. If I seen someone with a baby/toddler... I might have even given them dirty looks and there is a good chance I growled at them because I was jealous. I am just kidding about growling but it made me very sad.

My second answer is that it does get better if and when you have a child to raise. I don't mean to imply that the kept child will replace the child placed for adoption because it won't. Even if someone implies that the pain will go away. Don't listen. Baby #2 or #3 or 4 doesn't make things better.

It does make you feel less jealous because you get to experience Motherhood. You may still have a bit of jealousy over somethings especially if you lost a daughter and never grew yourself another one. I will never experience being a Mom to a daughter. Even though I am a reunited birthom and I have a step daughter.

I try really hard not to think of all the things I don't have. I am extremly lucky that I have a step daughter and step son and they accept me in their fathers life. I have Izzy in my life and I know not all birthmom's are this lucky.

I have a grand daughter born to my step daughter that I love with all my heart. She is the cutest little thing. I get to see her in the cute dresses and shoes. Once in a great while, when I can afford it, I get to buy cute girly clothes for her. I get to watch her grow listen to the cute things that come out of her mouth.

She has started to laugh when she burbs. So, she burbed and I said "excuse you" Now, she burbs and says "excuse you" When she is hungry she says cheese, yogurt and banana and has recently started saying snack.

Last week, she had already had enough snacks so papa said no and she looks at me and says nana "snack" It was so cute. I love her. Don't get me wrong. I was jealous and had a very hard time when she was born but I luckily came to love her and not see her girl things as in I am sad I didn't get to witness this. Now, I am happy because I get to see my grand daughter do this.

Being a birthmother isn't an easy road and it's good that you see that your jealous and I hope that you can work your way through that. The next time you feel jealous of a Mom and child.. think of me growling and enjoy watching the two.

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