We have been dealing with issues with Alex still. We let things get out of hand with him asking to stay the night at friends house and he was gone more than home. Sometimes, it felt like he just came in for a meal. The good news is that he was getting a lot of exercise walking back and forth.
It got out of hand and my husband told Alex that he could only stay the night at a friends house once a week. Any other time, he was to come in either at ten or eleven at night. If he came in at 11 pm he was to go right to his room. There was some disagreement between my husband and myself if Alex should have food saved for him for dinner if he wasn't home. Personally, I think if we cook for 3 or 4 (depending if I am at work or not) that he should be able to eat. I think he should come in sooner than 11 to eat. I can see it becoming a problem if Alex wasn't home and for the most part the food was being wasted.
Anyways, my son has the cell phone and on Tuesday night he went to his friends. There was an issue that he hasn't had his Xbox and it just seemed weird. He said it was at his friend's house but didn't seem in a hurry to get it. He left to "get it" and ten pm comes and goes and then 11 pm comes and goes. Now, it's the time, I want to go to bed but he doesn't have a key and I can't sleep until I know he is in.
I get on the computer and try to creep on his FB wall and realize that he has deleted me as a friend. I log into Stephen's account and message him on fb (private) that he better have a good reason for not being home. It's about midnight and he writes me back.
He said he was waiting for a ride and was going to go to Grandma's. I said no that he was to come home. He made it appear as if he had talked to Grandma but I learned that wasn't true. I couldn't call Alex cause his phone battery was dead. I was getting more and more ticked and was willing to just come get him so I knew he would be home. He refused and quit answering my messages.
After, talking to him on Stephen's account, I went on the browser Alex uses and it logged me onto his Fb account. I admit that this maybe wrong but I was beyong being nice. I looked at his wall. He had all kinds of stuff about "lighting it up"
Also, I read some of his private conversations thru fb and there was talk about pot and money and other stuff that has lead me to believe that he is still smoking it and was using the overnights to party.
I am still reading love and logic. I admit it's been a slow read and I keep losing my place.
Anyways, right or not, I yelled at him the next day. Right now, he is not allowed to go anywhere but Grandma's and isn't allowed friends or girlfriends at home. I have taken his Kindle Fire away and also wanted the IPOD but that he says is lost. We got the XBox from someone else and he says it's broke. He has been spending more time with us because he was nothing to really do to keep his busy.
I made him come with me to the Y tonight and he hung out with his little brother.
I don't know how long we will keep him on house arrest. My husband doesn't want to be tied down with being the entertainment and has some issues of concern to make him too bored. I understand where he is coming from but if we are afraid to punish him because he might attach himself to our hip then we are giving him the power to walk all over us.
I know we can't watch him 100% of the time. I don't even watch my 12 year old son 100% of the time. We never leave him alone without the supervision of an organized event.
I don't know what our next step will be. I don't pretend to have all the answers or do I know if anything I have done or did will make a difference but what we were doing wasn't working.
I got to crack the whip and read that book. I plan on highlighting the parts I want to practice on and discuss with my husband. I hope to have it read it a week.
Off the subject of my kids, I have gotten into liking Zumba. It's kind of hard to follow all the steps but it's fun. I hope I can work it in at least twice a week. I seem to be recruiting my family and friends to join the fitness craze. Also, I have had to job offers for private caregiving. The latest is my stepmom's Mother. Where are chances like this when I didn't have any hours? Although, private caregiving with higer needs clients scare me some because of the liability risks. Also, I am happy with the amount of hours that I am working. Anymore, would cut into my already busy day.