Tuesday, March 24, 2009

a little talk with my son

A while back, I heard that my younger son told my husband that he had a sister and he didn't mean his step sister who is much older than him. He calls her his sister even though there is very little relationship. He does talk to her once in a while and loves to see her. That's as far as it goes. It bugs me that he refers to her as his sister, because it's not the relationship I had with my sisters. But I don't discourage him from calling her his sister.
So a little while ago, I took down Izzy's picture from when she was young and asked
Me: Do you know who this is?
Son: you
Me: no her name is Izzy
Son: huh?
Me: She is my baby. I had her when I was young and wasn't able to take care of her. She lives with another family. She is my daughter and kind of like your sister.
Son: You got pregnant when you were young? If I was a girl.. I could be pregnant now?
Me: No.. that's way too young.. I was 14 years old.
Son: So if brother was a girl he could be pregnant
Me: Yes but it takes a girl and a boy to have a baby.
Son: confused look on his face
Me: You haven't heard about Izzy before?
Son: No
Me: StepDad told me that you mentioned that you have a sister and you weren't talking about Penny. Didn't you say that?
Son: No
Me: So you never knew about Izzy? Brother or your Dad didn't tell you?
Son: No
Son: How old is she?
Me: 17 years old.. She will be 18 on her next birthday.
Son: When is her birthday?
Me: Sept 11
Son: Do you know where she lives?
Me: Yes in our state
Son: Can we go see her?
Me: No. The family is scared of me for some reason. We have to wait until Izzy is old enough to decide on her own
Son: I want a kid sister
Me: I am sorry but I can't have any more kids. I am going to put the picture away now ok?
Son. Okay.. goes back to watching cartoons

I don't know what to think about him saying that he didn't know. My husband made it sound like he already knew of Izzy, but tried to discourage him from talking about it. Did this conversation really happen? Was it a lie that my husband told me just to have one more thing to be mad at my first husband? Or did the discouraging him from talking about her make him forget. I told my older son I wasn't happy that my younger son found out. He said he didn't say anything. I didn't ask my first husband if he told. My fist husband is the one who told my older son, because I believe he wanted to hurt me.
Well I am happy that I finally got this out in the open. I don't want him to think that I kept secrets or Izzy to be upset, because they weren't told.

1 comment:

birthmom1986 said...

I was lucky. My son had no idea until my daughter and I found each other. He was fourteen. My reasoning was I knew that he'd look and I didn't want him to be disappointed to find her and she didn't want to be found. I was going to wait until he was older, but my daughter found me, so the cat was out of the bag.