Sunday, March 22, 2009

A few months ago, my new husband told me that my second son mentioned that he had a sister and he wasn't talking about his step sister. I have to say Thank you to my older son or ex husband for telling him. I haven't had it in me to discuss the issue myself. I told myself that I would send the second letter and see if they wrote back. I feel like if I am going to talk to my son this is the time to do it, because I am on vacation. However, I am not quite sure I want to actually do it. It's not because I am ashamed of Izzy, but the fact that I don't have a lot to offer. I don't know how to explain adoption to a 9 year old. My best example is how we adopt bunnies, because they need homes. Or, a long time ago, I had to give away a dog, because it was either the dog or the place to live. Even with that situation the people who took the dog gave us their number so we could visit. We visited once to see how she was doing and didn't call back. We just basically wanted to make sure she was okay. So, I don't know how to explain to a nine year how the child goes away and then you never hear from them again.
I had Izzy's picture down a while back and he wanted to take a picture of the both of us. I let him do it, but then later I really got to thinking. Does he think that there is a baby sister out there?
Maybe I will just start with asking him does he know who the girl is and go from there. Well maybe after tomorrow. We are throwing him a late pizza party for his birthday. Well enough for now.

1 comment:

Thandi said...

Wow, that's a tough one! Telling your son...All the best. I have absolutely no words of advice. And onto the other issue..You were 14 when you had your daughter? Wow, can anyone hold you to anything you 'decided' at such a young age? ie. even if you had signed for a closed adoption, doesn't your age matter? It would to me-then again, I'm not an adoptive mom.But the fact that you were so young, shows you really had no options in terms of taking care of yourself and her. You really had no 'choice.' That is very sad...