Sunday, October 23, 2011

What adoptive children wish their parents knew

First, I read this book because even though I am not an adoptive Mom but since I am a birthmother and in reunion I thought it might be insightful. It's written by Sherrie Eldridge. I am going to write the chapters of this book as in what the kids want the parents to know and then another day I might explain more about where the book hit home with me as in I am like I really agree with that. As in you can say that again.
  1. Hidden losses.
  2. Entering Your child's world.
  3. I suffered a Profound loss Before I was adopted. You are not responsible.
  4. I need to be taught that I have special needs arising from Adoption loss, of which I need not be Ashamed.
  5. If I don't Grieve my Loss. My ability to Receive Love From you and others will be Hindered. 
  6. My unresolved Grief may Surface in Anger toward You.
  7. I need your help in Grieving My Loss. Teach me how to get in Touch with My feelings About my Adoption and Then Validate Them.
  8. I want you to take the Initiative in Opening Conversations About my Birth Family.
  9. I need to Know the Truth About My conception, Birth, and Family History. No Matter how Painful the Details may BE.
  10. 11, I am afraid I was "Given Away" by my birthmother Because I was a bad baby. I need You to help me Dump my Shame. 12.I am afraid You will Abandom Me. 13.I may appear More Whole than I actually am. I need your help to uncover the parts of myself that I keep hidden So I can Intergrate All of my elements of my Identity 14. I need to gain a sense of Personal Power. 15.Please Don't Say I look or Act Just like you. I need you to acknowlege and Celebrate our differences. 16. Let me Be my Own Person. But don't Let me Cut myself off From you. 17.Please Respect My Privacy Regarding My Adoption. Don't tell other People Without my consent. 18.Birthdays May Be Difficult for Me. 19.Not Knowing my Full Medical History can be Distressing at times. 20. I am afraid I will be too much for You to handle. 21. When I act out My Fears in Obnoxious Ways. Please Hang in There with me and respond Wisely. . I am sorry this isn't coming out the way I planned but lately blogger hasn't been working quite right.

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