Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I seen my Dad hanging with my sister at the restraunt near my house. So, I decided to stop to say hello. She asked me if I had talked to mom. I said that I had called and emailed her and hadn't heard back from her. I asked how she was doing, because she is my Mom. She said that she seems better and my Mom had mentioned that she was going to call me.
So, I will wait and see if she does. Right now, I am on the fence with her. Do I continue with things the way they are. Basically seeing her once or twice a year even though we live 20 minutes of each other. Or do I just point blank ask her what I did wrong? I think I know what I did wrong. I struck out in anger on my blog that my family reads, but hey I think that I had the right. I don't know if I could ever forgive my Mom for making me walk away from my daughter, but she is my Mom. It pains me to feel the rejection. When I see her with my brother and sister, I get jealous. When she drives 12 hours to see my older sister, I get jealous. I guess sometimes I just want her to think of me. Maybe, we have too garbage between us. I don't know. Like I said, I am on the fence. Walk away and accept it as it is or maybe we need to have it out.

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