How can a mother love her children all the same when one child has been kept and the other was given up? She doesn't know the relinquished child in the same way.

I stole this question from this blog. Go here to see her blog.

This is part of adoption that people who are not touched by adoption just have a hard time understanding. Honestly, I have a hard time explaining it but I will give it a try.
When you carry a baby and give birth.. it's love at first sight. It's an out of this world experience. I think when we are pregnant, we know we will love our baby, but until you give birth and see, hold, your baby. It's just a breath taking experience. A moment in our lives time that you will never forget.

It's true that birthmother's do not know the relinquished child in the same way that she does children that she raised. But the out pouring love from our hearts is the same. When are children are sick or hurt, it causes us great deal of sadness. I believe we feel that same sadness if our children that we didn't raise were sick or hurt. There has been times over the years, that I felt that my daughter was sick or hurt. It's a Mother's gut feeling. Is it always right? I suppose it's not. If it's the children that were raised by us.. we can figure it out right away and calm our nerves, but if we have no way to contact our birthchildren then the feelings are often hard to get rid of.

I love all my children. I love them all the same. The only difference is that I wasn't able to express my love to my daughter, but it was there. It's been stored up in a bottle waiting for her. She now knows that I love her and hopefully she understands that I will never leave her again. I am in it for keeps. She is my daughter in all ways, but I am not her Mom. However, I am my sons Moms and I was able to give them my love. I was there for them. I still love them all the same. I would lay down my life for them all.

I also have been blessed with two stepchildren. The bond isn't the same as my three children born to me. I didn't raise them and I know a lot of people might think that is strange that I use that as excuse. I didn't raise my daughter either but I spent 18 years loving her from a distance. When it comes to my stepchildren, I didn't even know them until they were about 18 years of age. I love them. It's more of the kind of love that is there because my husband loves them. So, sometimes when people ask me how many kids we have, I like to say that we have five kids between us.