I have been seeing quite a few blogs lately that really is bashing adoptions. I get that there is a lot of pain involved in adoption. I don't have to be the first to tell you that. There is pain in all areas of adoption. I wish it wasn't true, but it is.
I am trying to channel my pain in other directions. Volunteering for MELD has been a big self esteem pick me up. I can't express how much it has changed my life for the good. Blogging has done so much for me. I have found people who I really connect with. Having another birthmom to actually talk has done me a great deal of help. I always felt so alone. It's not that I want people to hurt like me. We all know that misery loves company but I am not that mean.
I have been able to learn more about adoption from adoptive parents. I used to HATE adoptive parents. I thought they were all bad and didn't keep their word and wished the birthparents dead. I am finding that some are very open to open adoption and some do honor open adoptions.
I have learned from adoptess. I have talked to ones that do not feel sadness and those that do. I feel bad for the ones that do and no way am I saying that they shouldn't write what they wish. I just never could really express 100% anti adoption views on my blog because well that is how my daughter joined her family and I would be afraid of how she would think of me.
My daughter is beautiful and I love her. Do I wish that things had been different and I raised her? Yes, but that wasn't my reality of life and she seems to be satisfied with life. Will I sugar coat adoption loss? No, but I have to think of my reunion. I can't get back yesterday. Yesterday is gone but I have my today's and tomorrow's with my daughter. I can choose to cry about yesterday or rejoice and live for my tomorrows. I am seeing better days.
3 comments:
"Yesterday is gone but I have my today's and tomorrow's with my daughter. I can choose to cry about yesterday or rejoice and live for my tomorrows. I am seeing better days."
I think this is lovely and will be beneficial to your relationship with your daughter, especially if she does also love and value her other family.
I mean to write back. Izzy has never came out and said that she loves her family, but I can tell that they have been really good to her. The closest she has said to love is that she is close to them, but not super close. I respect that she has her other family and don't want to come between them.
It's a weird thing talking to either set of parents about the other parent(s), and I'm 47!
You don't want to say anything too good, anything too bad...you know?
I think you're doing great and she's lucky to have a birth mother like you : )
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