Friday, September 3, 2010

Dear Izzy

It's almost your birthday once again. Only this time, I do get to play a small role in it and that makes me so excited. I am like a school girl who can't help but jumping for joy.Getting to know you through the Internet has given me so much. It has allowed me to see how beautiful you are and more importantly that you have led a great life.
I do a lot of reading here and there and I been noticing a pattern. Almost every other book just has to mention the attacks that happened on Sept 11 2001 and that happened to be your birthday. Never before did I think of your birthday with the date 9/11 but then again no one went around saying or printing 9/11 this and 9/11 that and before 9/11 and now because of 9/11. After seeing it twice this week, two different books, I cried some. I want to scream enough about 9/11. Wake me up when September leaves. Your birthdays have always been really hard on me. I have missed you so much. I have lost a child. On your birthdays, I would think of you so much and hard to believe that another year had passed since I held you last. Sometimes, I say that 19 years have gone fast and other times.. it's been so slow.
Sometimes, I can think of you and smile. i am so proud of you. Other times, I get so sad. I want to go back in time and make you all mine. All the talk about 9/11 makes me think of you when I am just doing my day to day stuff. I wish I could always think happy thoughts,but I can't. I miss what I feel should have been. I understand that you won't share my feelings. Izzy, I love you so much. You are smart, beautiful and caring. I am honored to be able to help celebrate your birthday. I know it may seem silly. But this feels like your 1st birthday to me! So, happy 1st birthday and happy 19th birthday!! Love always,

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