Sunday, September 27, 2009

mushy stuff

Yesterday, I had a nice day with my husband. I tried to tell him how much it means to be that our marriage is getting stronger. Men just don't seem to want to talk mushy stuff. Before, we contacted a church for marriage counseling I wanted out. I was so unhappy. We both were being jerks. Our family life was crazy. The thing that made me ask for help was when my little son said not fight tonight. I am sure we kept him up at times. We were too into who was wrong and trying to prove our points to think of anyone else.
I can count many times that I left in the night, because the fighting was just too much. I am sure I put myself at risk being out at all hours of the night. I was ready to leave my own house, because what is a home if you didn't feel the love in it. Now, I feel the love all around!
I can honestly say that we have had a complete turn around. I am going to give credit to lots of people. Myself, my husband and the coworker that said call for help, the pastor K and his wife and I maybe everyone is right that a life with God in it will be better. I am just amazed at the difference in our relationship.
It doesn't mean things are perfect and we might not ever need outside help again. Pastor K said that if I professed my love to God that I would be happier and feel different. Sometimes, I agree that I am happier and life has changed. However, when it comes to my daughter, I still feel that hopeless feeling that I am fighting a major depression at times. I feel that this might even be too big for God to handle. Some of their advice, I wonder if they can handle their own advice if they were in my shoes. But they are not. I do plan on getting back to them, but only when I can let a little more time pass that I feel that I can choose the right words. I don't want to appear ungrateful for all their help. Well, I have to get ready for work.


RB said...

You sound so much better and happier. Life is never perfect, but knowing that it is in your power to make it better is priceless. You've made so much progress. Be proud of yourself :)

kalibug said...

Glad your marriage is going so much better!!

kalibug said...
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BB said...

Good, good good!!

I am so glad you are doing so much better. At the risk of sounding patronizing, I am proud of you for not giving up on your marriage. These days, it is so easy for people to just give up. The best things in life are worth fighting for!

I think you are right that most people would have trouble taking their own advice if in that persons shoes. It is so much easier to say how your should act/feel/think than to actually BE that way!!!