Thursday, September 17, 2009

I have been sitting on a couple things before I shared with my blog friends.

I sent Izzy a birthday card addressed to her, but in care of her parents. I wrote a quick letter to her parents telling them that I wasn't asking for anything or expecting anything in return. That I just wanted her to know that I am thinking of her on her special day, and that I would be open to contact if she wanted it.
I wrote my daughter a short but sweet letter to on her card. The card was beautiful and fit adoption just right. I will share the words later. I haven't heard anything back yet and haven't got the card back. I am trying to hold to my word and not expect anything. I just hope that they felt safe to pass the card on.

Second, new thing going on is that I think I found Izzy on facebook. The page isn't open to everyone unless your her friend, but I can see one picture. I was able to drag the picture to my flash drive and print it. It's not the best quality picture, but it's what I got. Here is the hard to live with part. I can't be sure it's her. I think it's her and I have good enough reason to say that it's probably her. However, I can't know for sure. I feel that a Mother should be able to see her own kid. I am/was a little afraid to post this, because I don't want this to get back to her adoptive parents. I don't want Izzy's life to be affected by their fear. I am not going to contact her this way. I want to proudly hang the picture up, but how can I when I don't know for sure. I wish I could share the picture compared to one of me, but that just wouldn't be right.
I made a page on facebook and kept it open. Does anyone know anything about facebook? Will my dauhter see that I am looking.
I am not even going to go into how her face is on the web for the world, but can't be on my wall from her parents trusting me. Not getting into that today.


kalibug said...

I think it is great that you sent her a letter/card. She is legal so there should not be a problem with that.

Unless you contact her on facebook, she will never know that you looked at it.

aimee said...

I'm not sure what to say to you... but my heart breaks for you and your pain. I'm a mom to three girls that we've been blessed with through adoption. We have open adoptions with all three, and are so thankful to have our daughters first families in our life. I truly can't imagine keeping my children from their first family, from their history, from their heritage, from their love. We honor our children's first families in our home... we know when we do, we honor our children.
It grieves my heart for you that you don't even know what your daughter looks like. I am so sorry.
I know your daughter's family must be operating out of fear... but O the sorrow they are causing, not only for you, but ultimately for your daughter as well.
I will lift you up in prayer.

Jenn said...

i actually work with a girl who chose adoption for her son almost 24 years ago. a couple of years ago she found him on facebook, sent him an email and they have reconnected in a fabulous way. i think it's so sweet that you sent her a card. just perfect!

RB said...

There is no way for her to know that you were looking her up unless you actually send her a message. I think the card was a lovely idea. I just hope that her parents were comfortable enough to give it to her.

Tracey said...

I am on facebook and all my "friends" can see me, but they don't know when or if I have checked out their page unless I make a comment.