Thursday, September 17, 2009
I just wanna play duckies
Today, I just had to find out if the girl on facebook is my daughter. So, I went to the library where I can see her in color. I have photocopied pictures but the color doesn't show through. I brought along my dog, because I knew either way I needed to get some fresh air.
I compared the picture that I printed to two of the pictures in the yearbooks. It's amazing how much my daughter's looks seem to change from year to year. I guess it's something that parents just don't notice, because they see them everyday. That's why I still don't feel confidant in knowing if I would know my daughter if I seen her face to face. It's a miserable feeling.
The girl is my daughter. I am 99.9% sure that it's Izzy!!!! I have no plans to contact her through face book, but that don't mean I would never. As of right now, I just don't think I want to do that. Honestly, I want to do that, but not sure that would be best for Izzy.
I took my dog, Ann, for a long walk on the bike path. It was pretty nice. I did a lot of thinking and probably a lot of what I think don't make sense. One thing, is that I feel like all the sneaking around that I had to do to see what Izzy looks like, just feeds more into my feeling like my daughter is a dirty secret. Like I can't be trusted. It don't help that my husband thinks that finding her pictures on my own is close to stalking. I feel another counseling session coming on.