Friday, June 5, 2009

open adoptions

I don't have any experience with open adoptions, but I love hearing about them. Even though, I have never been there and can't know what goes through adoptive parents head, but I can get a idea on how the birth parents might feel.
I know not all birth parents are super young, but adoptive parents when dealing with them remember that you have some years on them. Things may come up that they just can't understand because of their age. If you told them that you were going to raise the child one way and something happened and you had to change things, they might feel as if you were not honest with them. Someone older might just understand that life changes. There are things that I do now that early in my days as being a birth parents I would never have done. I could have never supported any adoptive parents with adoption. I can't say if it would have been a age thing or just the pain was too severe. I am not going to lie. Sometimes I read things from adoptive parents that makes me cringe.Or, when someone brings home a new baby. I admit I cant help feel the pain of the birth parents. But I try to remember that I can't understand where you are coming from and just keep quiet. Unless it's something that I really feel that I can educate anyone and do it in a respectful manner. Well that's my two cents for the day.

1 comment:

BB said...

It is really easy to live in a world where you only think about yourself. Sometimes, I forget that I have a birth parent audience as well and even worse I get caught up in my own little world and forget to think about others. I will admit, sometimes I completely forget that R has a whole other family that loves her and aches for her.

I think a lot of it is becuase I am still learning. I am learning to be a mom and learning to be an adoptive mom and learning about open adoption and relationships with birth families.

I do hope that if I say something that makes you cringe or offends you that 1) you will forgive me and 2) you will let me know (kindly?).