Thursday, June 11, 2009

I see that everyone was talking about open adoption and I don't have much to add, but something did come to me that might help.
When my baby was still a very young baby the parents gave my aunt a picture to give to me. It was a inch by a inch. It was the worst insult they could have given me. The reason why it was so small, because thats all they had left after giving pictures to the family. I remember thinking, Wow!! I trust them with my own child and this is how they treat me. I was at the bottom of the list when they thought of me. When you are giving pictures to the birth parents don't put them at the bottom. Don't give them all the leftovers. I wanted to feel that at least that they cared about me and had respect for me.

I have something else on my mind. I have been a caregiver for 2 1/2 years. For the last two, I have been working as a live in caregiver. I spend 24 hours at their place and then 24 home until Friday and Saturday come and I get two off in a row. I have to work a double because someone went on vacation. I am just beat. I am so so tired of being stuck in their home for 24 hours at a time. I get plenty of sleep on most nights so that's not the problem. I am just tired of being away from my family. Also, on my days off, I feel like I am trying to make up for the days that I lost. My clients are 98 years old and I want to hang around until they pass away. I don't know if I can do it. There is a big chance that I can go work for a cell phone company and make more money and be home more. However, I just love taking care of people, but the money just isn't there. These live in's are the only way to make enough money and even that is like working 72 hours for a 45 hour pay check. I don't know to stay or go. I think this world is too confused. I think people who are in professions like mine should be paid so much more. For example teachers should be paid more. I seen one of my sons teachers from two years ago, working at the grocery store for the summer. He should make enough to hang out. But who knows maybe he likes to get out.

Well, I am going to go walk my dog before I come a prisoner in my clients home. However, we are celebrating his 98th birthday.


Jenn said...

i am so sorry that your daughter's adoptive parents have so little respect for you. i actually cart my camera EVERYWHERE thinking that some great photo opportunity may arise that would be great for our birthparents to see since that is the main way they see the boys (i also send them video cips via cd every few months). i think every birthparent is different in what they are willing to see and accept in photos too. i was really paranoid at first about including anyone else in photos but the boys because i didn't want to make them feel any hurt, loss or sadness. they made it clear though that they would love to see other friends and family in photos, so since then i've included a few of us and family. i guess it just depends on what they're comfortable with.

Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

That is extremely awful. So sorry to hear that.