Friday, March 9, 2012

I had a day out with my friend. We went to the early show of The Vow. Then, we went to walmart and got lunch at the deli and ate it at McDonald's. We just ordered drinks from McDonald's. I felt so bad. haha
Anyways, I loved the Vow but that's not what this post is about. They advertised a movie called Octoberbaby. I believe that was what it was called. From what I got of the preview it's a young lady on the search to find her birthmother and I believe it's promoting choose life. I have to see this movie but thinking I might just sneak off by myself to watch it. I think it comes out this month. It could be something that just will make me cry and I wouldn't want to break down in front of anyone.

Although, I do feel that I am in a much better place than I used to be when it comes to adoption pain. In my private blog, I wrote about how my husband said something that I thought was hurtful and mean. It really made me sad but it basically just made the feelings that I had been trying to shove away come to surface. I talked with my friend, when we were talking about our relationships. (yes, men, if your reading, women talk about you) I told her the story and how in the past I would have been angry and I forgot to mention that it could have gotten ugly but it didn't.

I told my husband that I thought it was mean thing to say and it made me miss Izzy more. However, he said sorry that he didn't mean to make me sad and I said, I know and that was the end of it. It didn't make it all better but I didn't let my emotions get the better of me and attack him for being an "asshole" as I would have called him in the past.

So happy that our relationship is going so strong.


Karen said...

Yesterday, my adoptive daughter and I were in the van and we started talking about her own adoptive situation. She was abandoned by her birth parents in China. But there is no "adoption plan" in China, other than abandonment. I talked to her about MY thoughts of her birth parents. I told her that I believe in my heart that her birth mother did not want to leave her. It's only a feeling, but it's a strong one. And I told her the difference between what we actually know and what I believe to be true. I also told her that some people in her life, especially some of her friends as she gets older, will not understand adoption, and they might assume her birth parents did/do not care about her to let her go.
I really appreciate it when you have guest bloggers on here. But I would also like to ask you at this time...If you were in charge of what daughter's a-parents said to her as she was growing up, what would you have wanted them to say to your daughter about you? And at what point is it healthy and what point would it be difficult for your daughter to know about your adoption plan? How much is too much?

Andrew said...

I deal with so many challenged relationships on my site, so it's refreshing to hear about a healthy "I'm sorry" and a strong relationship. Good for both of you! :)

birthmothertalks said...

Thanks Andrew, things were not always so good for us. We both have gotten a lot better.
Karen thanks for the question. I will have to think about this one and will make it a blog post.