Thursday, April 14, 2011

I never was really educated too much on adoption and never read any books on it until a few years ago. My first book was The girls who went away by Ann Fessler about the generations of women who were forced into hiding and adoption. There stories made mine look like a cake walk, but it doesn't mean that mine wasn't painful.

Well, anyways, several years ago, while I was doing live in care this co worker of mine confessed that she had a child at 15 and her parents adopted her daughter. She always called the child her "sisterdaughter" I thought it was amazing that her parents raised the child as their own rather then send her off to strangers. I don't know for sure but I am guessing that it made the loss of adoption an easier thing than not knowing anything. What I didn't understand because I hadn't done any reading is how rare this situation probably was. The co worker was old herself. I would guess about 65 or so. So, it would have fell in the time line of where most unmarried and pregnant girls "went to go stay with a sick aunt" and lost their child forever.

I ran into her a few days ago at the YMCA and she said she met a new guy. Her husband had died several years before I met her. She looked good and actually looked in better shape than she did when I met her.

It gave me an opening that my life has changed too. I said, I am reunited with my daughter. She looked surprised and happy. Then, later, it came to me that I never told her that I had a daughter. It's so strange that even when a birthmom was dropped in my lap that I didn't open up and say hey I am a member of that club. I think counseling helped me to be a little more comfortable and also reunion makes it easier to admit that I am a birthmom but I know my daughter.

Maybe, if I run into her again, I will have the nerve to talk more with her about adoption, but don't hold your breath.

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