Saturday, April 2, 2011

The forgotten child

I had coffee with my Dad the other day and my son was with me. My Dad introduced him to the guy sitting near us that he was his grandson. They go on to count the grandchildren. My Dad counted two from me and four from my sister and two from my step brother. Again, my daughter doesn't make the count of one of his grandchildren. It hurts but I suppose that is what adoption does to families. It makes the adopted child especially from an closed adoption to be the forgotten child. She isn't counted as a grandchild and her name isn't remembered.

I suppose I should be used to this by now but I would have thought reunion would have changed things. However, my Dad hasn't met her yet and has only seen pictures so I am guessing she is still not a real thought. She is just the baby and not the grandchild.


Adoptee said...

Oy. That's painful. I know how it feels to be the uncounted adoptee- some of my older siblings still say there are 5 kids, but I'm number 6. I say I'm number 6 in a family of 5 children. =/ Reunion is a mixed bag.

Wendy said...

I'm sorry, birthmomtalks. That makes me sad to hear that.

birthmothertalks said...

Adoptee yes reunion is a mixed bag. I kind of regret my sons meeting my daughter for fear of rejection. My youngest son will say he doesn't have sisters unless prompted. I think a lot of that has to just do with growing up without a sister and when he did learn about her I didn't want him telling everyone that he had a sister but had never seen her.
If prompted he will say that he has two sisters because he also has a step sister that is older than him.
Wendy, it makes me sad too. I guess somethings never change.