Friday, January 14, 2011

I left off with the fact that my older son, Alex, moved into his Dad's mobile home and then the situation with the weekends changed. Now, I only seen him on the weekends and other times that I could arrange. However, I did and still do call, text and try to make it so I see my son more than those two days every other week.

I am not without blame for my son just having a hard time adjusting to life. I married my current husband very fast. Looking back, this is where I made a big mistake. Also, this is where hell broke loose in my household and things were just out of control. That was my main reason for allowing him to go live there. I had hoped that it wouldn't be forever, but after he started school in another district it seemed wrong to move him again. My teen wasn't without blame either. He raised hell and was out of control after I got remarried. But I take most of the blame with it being bad judgment on my part.

I have never been 100% happy with Alex living with him full time. I don't always think he has his best interest at heart. I feel like he is more likely to buy him the things he wants compared to the things that he needs. Also, sometimes I feel like he just flat doesn't have the money to do it.

My ex husband is still single and living off less income than me and has struggled more with finances from my angle of things. I have heard of things getting pawned like TV's, cameras and games. I try not to talk bad about his Dad. If he needed rent, bill money or food, then I could see myself doing the same thing. However, I think he goes too far when he pawns something that was given to the child either by him or someone else. Or needs to use a gift card that he was received. Luckily, I haven't had to resort to anything like that since I have been apart from my first husband.

Right now my sons Dad is still single, had to work and goes to college to better himself. I think this leaves my son home alone too much and not enough structure for him. I know he is 16 years of age but where I feel my ex husband is being very laid back.. We tend to not be overly strict. Well, at least I don't think we are. When I blog about some of our rules and expectations of the kids let me know if you think we are asking too much. Some of the stuff, I blog about that go on at his Dad's house might just be based on my impressions or what little I hear. Alex tries not to say anything that will get me upset with his Dad because then his Dad gets upset with him. Stephen my youngest son is too little to keep stuff from me. It was him that I have recently learned that Alex has been watching him for about 6 hours on Saturday and the fact that Stephen was up alone while they were using space heaters and the oven for heat because the furnace wasn't working. I imagine you can imagine how ticked off I was at the thought of my children having trying to escape a death trap. Just for the record, my ten year old has some developmental issues and doesn't really act quite like a ten year old.

I have heard that the heat has been fixed and now the children will go to Grandma's when their Dad is working. So, I am glad that he is understanding that I don't approve of the situation.

I wish there were more resources for parents that have to co parent to get help through all this but mediation is very costly.

Well, I will continue another day.

1 comment:

Life with Kaishon said...

That sounds so stressful. I am sorry you have to experience that!