Sunday, August 5, 2012

My son has been working at his job for a couple weeks now. He got his first partial check pretty fast cause they pay weekly. He bought my husband a lighter so he blow thru his check pretty fast.

However, to his credit it wasn't very many hours because he started mid week.

He has already increased in hours and I am proud of him. He missed a fun day with his church because he had to work cause they added a day to him and he didn't even complain. He seems to be catching on a little more about some of our issues around here.

The job has caused some conversations between my husband and I that we don't agreee on. It's about the meals. My husband is thinking that he is working he needs to start pulling his weight more in the area of feeding himself especially if he is working during our dinner time.

We are in agreement that we don't want him to cook late at night when everyone else is in bed or soon to be. We are in agreement about how we don't want him to see dollars and start eating his meals at the various fast food places all the time.

We just are not in agreement over that missed evening meal. I don't see my grocery shopping suddenly changing from buying for four to three. Honestly, I have to buy for 5 since my grand daughter spends quite a few meal times with us.

Its my feelings that if I could for four for dinner that we save him a meal that he can eat at night or say take for lunch or the next night. I see no problem doing this unless he was to not eat the food and it was being thrown out. I am in no place to be throwing good out. Money is very tight and I just can't do that.

My husband thinking is also part on the line is Alex going to want to wait to eat dinner until 11 pm or so when he is off and shouldn't he just pack a sandwich? I don't care for boring sandwiches much so I wouldn't want to push them on him. Also, I find lunch meat to be pricey. At the store my son works at it is 6 dollars for a pound. I am glad that we have Aldi's where I can afford to buy food at lower costs.

I think we vary on feelings on this issue cause I am Mom and I can feel my stomach growl if he is hungry. I don't mean literly but what hurts my children hurts me. To this day my finger hurts when I think about Alex getting it cut off in a door as a new walker. Long story but the finger was saved.

My husband doesn't see my son as an equal and I don't blame him but he is seeing him more like a man than a child. So, he has higher expectations for my son to take care of himself. I think in some ways he is right. Saturday, Stephen went with his Dad to a water park and Alex couldn't go due to work. My husband isn't big on eating and often times if left all on his own might not eat a meal. It just really varies.

I think a night when the pressure is off putting a meal together for all of us my son should figure something out on his own to eat but shouldn't have to pay for it.

Wonder if I will be thinking the same when in the next few weeks or so my husband loses his unemployment.


Pam said...

I think your son is part of the family and it would mske him feel like it if his dinner was saved for him. Just because your husband is probably not earning as much money as he could, he still gets to eat. That was also really nice that Alex bought a gift for your husband.

birthmothertalks said...

Pam, I agree with you. I don't want to have it so where we put names on our food so we know what is Alex's and what is ours. He is going to be a grown up living in our household if he stays so I do think it's a good idea he gets used to buying some of his special treats he likes and if there is a situation where eat outside of our home while he is work that he can fix himself something easily.