Saturday, August 27, 2011

new changes

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My son started middle school this week. I wish I could go back in time and have him being starting all over again. I want to protect him from the cruel children. I don't think they allow over protective parents to hang children from their toes when they be mean to mine.

I stressed this day and it's ironic that I don't recall the first day of my oldest son starting middle school. I can't remember the first school. I remember the second middle school but I didn't know it was the second. He must have had to start at a different school when we bought our house. You all probably think I am a bad Mom, right? I don't know if my anziety and forgetfulness is cause of my youngest sons specialness or if it's the divorce or cause I never quite got the hang of middle school. It was where school went from so so to torture. I was lost and hated it!

We have been pretty broke lately and I finally gave in to trying to open up my hours to work more. I was only working 20 hours a week cause I was staying home with my grand daughter. I liked this arrangement when my husband was working too, but now with him just getting unemployment we just don't make enough to pay all our bills and have any kind of life.

This was my first week that I was at 40 hours and it looks like it's going to stick. I can't say if it will stick for a month or longer. It's hard to say with the elderly. I am grateful for the hours and basically it's doubled my income. However, I am feeling bitter cause I feel pissed that I am spending three days in a row gone from 9:30 am to 10:30 pm or later. The latest I would come home is 11:30 pm. I basically have a four hour shift and then on two out of the three days I have a two hour break where I stay in the area to save gas and then go to work for an average of 7 or so hours. I am at 40 but 32 hours come from the three days and I find myself feeling really pissed off.

I know I shouldn't be. My husband is taking care of the house and our grand daughter and my son. But it just does tick me off when I am suppose to pay for his smoking habit but there are much more important bills that need to be paid or things we need.

I am grateful to be working and hope the hours keep on. It seems like my company is starting to think about the employees more. As soon as I brought it to her attention that she forgot to give me one of my normal shifts she fixed with other hours which lead to my 20 hours more each week. She said, you should have told me your husband lost his job. Before this the other lady, would say something like and your point is? i am really hoping that my anger goes away once I start seeing paychecks with full time hours.

Also, my company used to hire more people even though they had people who might want to work more. They sent out notice if anyone wants more hours to call cause of changes in availability and the rise of client hours that we need more help. I think it was great that they gave the current employees heads up that they could be working more if they desire.

Sorry for the ranting.

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