Wednesday, February 25, 2009

almost done thinking

I have thought long and hard do I write to Izzy's parents again. I have listed my pros and my cons and what's going through my mind.

I will always wonder if I don't attempt this letter asking for to write even if it's not what I want to hear.
I am thinking my writing skills have improved and plan on sending a shorter letter.
I could send a few more pictures of my kids. Maybe that will appeal to talk to me for the kids sakes.
When I discuss Izzy with my kids, I want to explain that I have tried to reach out.
The last letter was in Oct. I have not called them, sat outside of their house, or attempted to locate Izzy. I have not been to her school. I am hoping they can take all that into consideration and know that I will not do something stupid.
The last time, I used a p.o. box. I could use my home address and maybe that will help them feel like I trust them.
If they respond it will help me discuss Izzy with my kids and I think it will help me feel a little less angry towards her parents.


My husband will not approve and I plan on not telling him. I am the only one who really checks the mail. I know it's wrong, but I just can't deal with listening him tell me to get over it.
I am afraid that her parents will look at contact as me not keeping my word.
I plan on keeping the fact that I sent the letter all to myself in my real life, except my friend who I already told. She didn't tell me what she thought. I didn't ask her what she thought either though.
rejection by ignoring me again will hurt even more this time.
rejection by answering me and telling me to bug off is going to hurt too.

That's all that comes to mind right now. Anyone else have any 2 cents to add that would be cool. I am going to sit on this for a couple more days, because I have to print up some pictures. However, I admit that I already wrote the letter. But I plan on revising it a little. Short and sweet. My last letter was sweet, but was four pages long.. is that where I went wrong?


birthmom1986 said...

I don't think that we "go wrong" unless we are obviously stalking.

Look. We are threatening. We are their MOTHERS and there isn't any amount of money or talk or pretending that they can do to prove that they (the adoptive parents) share their adoptive childs' dna. None.

They know this. It is why we are avoided. They don't want to be our friends. They want us to vanish.

Laurel said...

You stated in your letter to them that you would back off if they didn't reply. I urge you to honour this...and perhaps at a year to when you initially sent the first write again.

Just my opinion...