The reasonings would be that as of right now he has to be in by midnight or we lock him out. We don't want anyone coming in and out late at night and we get used to hearing noise and being at risk for break ins. My son isn't all that reliable for remembering to lock the doors. He has broken our trust on a couple times by having his friends (grown men) sleep in our house and even once I went out to the garage to find 3 men.
My husband isn't working and it's very rare that someone isn't home and communication can go a long way if keeping us informed of his comings and goings.
We were going to do the key thing when he turned 18 but with the job loss we haven't.
Another issue that we been dealing with is that my husband refused to let my son stay in our home if we are not home. I have been putting up with this even though I don't like it.
I don't like how it makes me feel as a Mom and I finally expressed how pissed it makes me. It's not that I don't think my son can go out with us or needs the push to go job hunting. It's just that I can't deal with treating my son as if he was the common neighbor we don't know.
I know my son is a cluz and have broke things and hasn't wanted to take responsability. I do get that but my son has never done anything that would really make me judge his charater as a person who would rob our household blind. This doesn't mean that I don't take precautions. I carry my purse in my room at night and I don't just leave cash laying everywhere.
I explained to my husband how sooner or later he is will have to find a job. My husband's unemployment ran out. There could be a time soon when we will have to leave him home alone so we can work. I asked what are you going to do. Stay home protecting our belongings and lose the house? I felt like he really thought about that and agrees that we won't be asking him to leave at everytime we leave.
He does admit that he will have an issue with him going out to work and me going to work and my son sits at home not bringing in any income.
According to my husband they have worked out some little deals. My son is to be cooking dinner with the help of lessons on how to cook during the week. If Stephen is gone to his Dad's then my husband isn't going to make any kind of effort to prepare meals. It would be up to Alex to find dinner in the kitchen.
My husband said he informed Alex that if I treat Stephen to McDonald's or something simliar don't assume your invited. This sounds harsh and it makes me feel bad. But if I treat Stephen to lunch or a movie for all his hard work in school and Alex tags along and isn't doing anything then it's just not a treat.
My husband did some reading about teens and I am hoping it softens his heart somewhat with how he treats my son. I feel like mistreating my child even though he is grown could really hurt my marriage and my feelings for my husband.