Monday, December 17, 2012

Uncomfortalbe conversations

I had a very hard time talking to my son about the job issue and me kicking him out in 4 months. I was very honest about how we need the income he could bring in with the small amount we talked about charging him. I was honest how my husband is giving me a hard time and how I am being bitched at for what he is or isn't doing and I am just plain tired of being bitched at. I was honest in telling him that his Dad hasn't paid child support on a regular basis.

I literlly started to cry because I am worried about him due to him not being able to take care of himself should anything happen to me or the reality of me having to follow through on my threat.

I told my son I would try to help him anyway possbible. My husband is going to take him to the unemployment office to see if there are any recourses he can take advantage of. They are going tomorrow.

I am going to try to get him a bus pass or ticket in the next week or so that way if he needs to explore outside of the neighborhood he can.

While I was at it for having weird conversations I did something else. It's been heavy on my mind that my son has a girlfriend.

I sent her a private message asking about birth control. I said I am not asking if your having sex with Alex but I need to know if you have birth control. She replied that she has been asking her Mom to take her to get some but so far hasn't.

I told her how I believe the health department gives free birth control and if she needed a ride I could help her out. I explained how I was a Mom young and don't want to watch them struggle. She seemed shocked that she could go without her Mom and I said I was pretty sure she could. I asked her to follow up on it and let's get working on it.

I told her how when I was 17 I went to look into birth control and I was pregnant with Alex. Also mentioned losing my first to adoption and I wouldn't want to see that happen to anyone.

I know birth control isn't all the women's responsability but honestly it was the easier one for me to bring up the subject.


Lorraine Dusky said...

You did the right thing, even though it must have been difficult to make that first outreach to her. We first mothers are was more sensitive for the need to make sure those we love take the precautions that we did not.

You did good.

kathy said...

The talk was necessary, sad that you only had it with her. STD is also something to consider. I oppose pre marital sex but if they are already active you must consider supplying HER with condoms too.
If he is unemployed is she also? boy that would be a mess if they became pregnant on top of it all.
There are plenty of jobs out there, but many people refuse to consider them.

birthmothertalks said...

My husband has talked to him about this stuff so that's why I went with her. She is still in high school and not working either. I probaly need to get the comdems myself because my son seems to have a hard time talking to people. Ugh!

kathy said...

if she is underage, her folks could get him for statutory rape. if they did THAT would ruin his life. someone has to inform him, because highschool girls are not emotionally mature enuf. someone has to talk to them both.

kathy said...

supplying the condoms rather than let them live dangerously is a good idea.
if she is still in HS then shes probably underage-Do u realise that if her folks decide to they can charge him with statutatory rape. THAT will ruin his life forever. He will have to register as a sex offender wherever he lives. That prob wont happen but it could. They dont have jobs they have lots of time on their hands to play...Girl it has to be addressed and soon. Dont try to run her off, BUT he needs a job fast even if its only a GET BY job. People get depressed when their life SUX & believe me I bet that is how he feels. Sex to young people is something they can do and Nobody can tell them otherwise. However as u well know theres sometimes calamitous results, be it STD or unplanned pregnancy.

birthmothertalks said...

I was concerened about the age of concent laws when I realized that he was going to turn 18 while she was still 17. In my state, the age to consent is 17 years of age. I agree that he needs to find a job asap for just in case something should happen but also for his self worth.