Monday, December 6, 2010

marriage sucess

My husband and I used to fight really bad. I didn't think we had a future together. Our marriage was spinning out of control. If we divorced it would be a second divorce on both of our parts. I had just about given up hope and wanted out, but my husband wasn't willing to go. I don't know if it was because he still had hope or because he was stubborn and wasn't going to leave the house or my son who we raise together.

We used to fight about money. We fought about children. We fought about adoption. Adoption was probably the number one thing that caused me the greatest pain. I felt as if he didn't understand me and wasn't on my side. I felt like he was rejecting my daughter before I even found her.

It hasn't been an easy marriage. However, our life has really turned around. He quit drinking about a year and half ago. Slowly, he has became a different man. Well, not totally different but more responsible and has been able to tone some of his thoughts down. Adoption still can be a touchy subject for us. Sometimes, he wants to debate it. I can only do that for a few minutes and then basically, I feel like I am right and just don't want to talk about it. It's hard to be logical when emotions are involved.

He used to give me a hard time about my daughter's scrapbook. I don't know why. There were moments where I slept with it by my side. I was afraid he would destroy it. It's not as if he ever said he would. It was just my fear. He has really changed. He actually helped me flatten some flowers in a book because I wanted to use them for the scrapbook. I joke about if something like a fire happens save the scrapbook and while it may seem like a joke. I really mean it. Don't let it burn. It would be a great loss if something destroyed it. My husband is really getting how important it is to me. He suggested that I pay for someone to scan the book and make it into a digital form. It's a wonderful idea. If I do that. I can always have the book. I am so attached to it that I been afraid that I won't be able to give it to my daughter.

My husband is a grandfather. Babygirl is 10 months old. She is so adorable. So, my marriage, I am a grandmother too. I have been helping out her Mom and Dad by babysitting for her the last few weeks. I really love it. She is fun to be around and I love dressing her in pretty girly clothes. It's fun to go buy her something and change her into it.

My husband continues to try to connect with my older son. It's not easy getting along with a teen. I am very happy with how things are going between them. I just wish I could get my sons to stop fighting with each other. I guess I can't have it all.

I am in a reunion with my daughter. It's a dream come true. My husband has been pretty supportive of this.

I know he probably doesn't take the time to read this but if you do check in. I am crazy in love with you!!!! You make me feel special. I am so happy that you didn't walk when I was pushing you away. You are so good to me.

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