Wednesday, December 29, 2010

16 and pregnant

So, in the last few days, I read all of this blog. I wanted to blog more deeply about the show 16 and pregnant and the fact that another young girl choose adoption for her daughter.
I can feel Ashley's pain. I haven't watched any of the show 16 and pregnant except for the episode from when she had the baby and gave her to her aunt and uncle and went back for her.
I admire her so much. I can't imagine letting her go and getting her to only let her go again. It must have been so hard, but at the same time. She created memories with her daughter. Also, I hope by her taking her time to have her daughter home that she will look back on it and know that she tried.

I am a little confused on how 16 and pregnant works.. I have recently learned that the Mom's get paid to do the season. How long do they have cameras around them and how is it decided what scenes to go with. I know shows want ratings and I have a hard time believing when they pick the scenes to show that they are thinking of the best interests of the Mom's and their children. I think it would be about the bottom dollar and drama gets people to watch it.

However, I don't have any first hand experience with MTV. Are they seeking out women to choose adoption? I don't mean all the girls, but is it a set up to want to have at least one choosing adoption and show all the drama from those raising their children. First off, anyone with a newborn, I don't care what age... will feel stress, lack of sleep and just a huge shift of a life style.

I think MTV was so wrong to watch Amber abuse Gary and film it and not make an effort to do something to stop it. Maybe, things could have been different if MTV treated the situation different.

I worry that the cameras following around a expecting Mom considering adoption would just add to the outside pressure to choose adoption. It sure can't help anything. When it came to the first couple, Tyler and Catelynn, I didn't think they showed the emotional side of adoption very well. However, in the one episode of watching Ashley I seen the emotional side and plus it helps to read her blog. I get that pain. I understand the feeling of wanting to die. I really do understand those deep feelings of wondering will life ever feel worth living again. Like I said, I admire her strength and her honesty.

There is one thing that I always repeat when it comes to women choosing adoption. They seem to want the perfect family for their child. I understand that. Who doesn't want it to be perfect. The stay at home Mom and both a Mom and Dad. I really do understand women wanting to give two parents, but I don't always get the strong desire for the Mom's to stay home. I understand that can be the ideal situation, but the majorities of couples raising children together can't provide that. I worry about women choose adoption and years down the road having children and hopefully being married but I worry how they will handle the situation if they can't afford to have one parent stay home. How would they tell their child that they gave away their brother or sister so they could have a stay at home Mom and they are not staying home with their children born after that.

I guess I don't get the drive for a stay at home Mom because I have always worked. Sometimes, I have gotten away with only working part time and for the most part, we try to work different hours and not have too many babysitters. Actually, most of the people that have ever watched my children have been family. I know a few other good Mom's and Dad's that work and rely on babysitters. I know, through blogging, several adoptive Mom's that work outside the home. So, I just hope that women today are not setting their standards too high. You can be enough for your children.

Maybe, I would feel different if I had actually choose adoption for my daughter. Again, I have a lot of compassion, respect, and just admire Ashley. I won't pretend to know what all goes behind the scene on 16 and pregnant and teen Mom but I do know that it does worry me some. However, at the end of the day. I can't do anything.

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