Alex was home this weekend. It was shorter and much better than the last one. It was shorter because I had to work Friday night and Monday he had summer school. I have been thinking a lot about the tension and what causes it. I think some of it is forgetting that there are somethings that Alex does that all kids do. Take McDonalds for example. Right when we left to get Alex, Stephen asked if we could get McDonald's. I told him maybe. What I need to remember is that they are kids and will eat that every day if they could. Then, before I even got to Alex, he asked if we could get something to eat. So, we ended up eating lunch at McDonald's followed by ice cream. I am learning something about me too. I am getting to that age where Fast food doesn't sit well with me.

I think another reason for the tension is that I tend to try to let Alex have his way all the time and it makes me upset. So, this weekend, when he asked to change the radio station, I would say after this song. I know it sounds little but it does bug me that every time he gets in the van that he has to change it to his music. I think he needs to hear no more. Even if it makes him mad. I can't walk around giving in 100% of the time and still feel normal or happy. I can bend some rules and adjust my thinking sometimes, but I am the parent.

Saturday, we went to an out door pool and swam for about four hours. It was awesome. But my kids get too rough and that did bug me. It bugs me some that Alex can't ever just take time doing something on his own. I am not talking about him swimming on his own and me not being there, but the fact that his hands have to always be on somebody. If they were not on me then they were on his brother. A few different times I felt a slight pain because he just grabs too hard. I can see it in my other sons face that he doesn't always want to play like that or play in general. Sometimes, we both just want to swim.
After I cooked dinner, Alex asked my husband are you going to eat with us like a real family. I thought that was cute. To me it shows that Alex craves the family life. We do so many things on our own. A lot of it is just my children's and mine interests are so different.

Sunday, I had an reunion that my old company put on. I was nervous about bringing the boys because I knew they would probably be bored. I thought about seeing if their Dad wanted to have them, but my husband said that Alex needs to see more about what I do. And if a picnic with a bunch of women is what I do then he should go. Well, anyways, I told the kids if they were good then we would go swimming for two hours at the same place. (it was cheaper at this time)
We were there for about 3 1/2 hours and there wasn't too many people. It was mostly the people who ran the place and their children. I kind of felt like I crashed the party. lol My kids did pretty good. They did bug me a little to leave but not really. I hung some with them, but also sat around some of the people to talk. My sons' hung out mostly together but when a young girl showed up. She is probably in her early 20's and very cute. Suddenly, my oldest is part of the conversations.
Then, we went swimming for the two hours. They weren't quite as rough. It was funny though. This time it was Stephen saying come on let's play this game.

My major problem that got me really upset is that my son was trying to get me to listen, watch videos either on youtube or on his phone. I don't care for waiting for the stuff to load. Most videos, I just don't watch. However, I try for my son. I watched a whole video that used swear words and I just don't care for it. Then, he wanted me to watch something on his phone. I wasn't watching and he was doing it on his own. I finally told him that I didn't want to hear it and to shut it off or leave the room. He kind of got mad and said what do you expect me to do.. Be alone in the basement? I let him storm to the room he shares with his brother later and then I went to talk to him. I told him that I really don't care to listen and watch stuff with all that swearing. I can see you doing that with friends, but I am not your friend.

I think back to my childhood. I knew there was a time and a place to say off colored words and around Mom and Dad wasn't the time. My ex husband actually asked what I thought about him saying ass and asshole in front of me. I told him that I don't talk like that around my parents and I won't take it out of him. He agreed with me but told me how Alex thinks he is old enough now. I think the technology is helping create kids that just don't have any respect. Or at least creating children with the access to some of this garbage and if your not careful before you know it your hearing crap that normally would only be around adults.

I really didn't feel the tension in me after he left this time. I feel so much more relaxed. I hope that continues. I don't want my son to feel it too. Because if I feel it then he might too.

Next week, Stephen will go to his Dad for five days and before this month ends Alex will do that here. It will be interesting to see how this goes.