Saturday, September 1, 2012

21st birthday

Eleven more days and it's going to be Izzy's 21st birthday. In general, the 21st birthday is big but in adoption land I think it's even bigger. Well, I suppose that can vary from state to state.

In my state, it's the year that children (adoptees) Otherwise known as grown ups at this time but not often treated like it. Can start using the registies to find their birth parents and the other way around too. I can only imagine that it's like searching for a needle in a haystack but worse.

I wonder if the 21st birthday will express any interest from her birthfather in her. I am not sure if he knows her actual birthday but I would think he knows the year.

I suppose in some sick twist of events my daughter going to the people who became her parents who didn't keep up the verbal agreement that I thought was spoken between us adopted her. They did keep her name the same and it's how I found her. If someone else got her and kept her name from me.. I could be feeling for that needle in a haystack trying to find a match.

This birthday is the first birthday that I didn't ask for the day off. It's not that I didn't want to have my day out with my husband like I normally beg for him to do but I have been needing quite a bit of time off work and they are now counting the days and limiting us to 12 requests a year.

I just decided to ride out the day at work. I wish I didn't have to work though. I will be spending part of my day with an adoptive Mother who doesn't always speak highly of one out of two of the children she adopted. I won't say more cause it's job related but sometimes I wish I could get through the day without hearing how she adopted children.

I don't know if that sounds bad but I would hope my daughter's parents can talk about their "our" daughter without always needing to bring up she is adopted. I look at it this way. I lost a child to adoption. I can talk about my child lost to adoption without always going into how I lost her and found her. Sometimes, just saying "my daughter" is enough.

I am working on her birthday stuff right now. You can check that out in my private blog.

No comments: