My husband and myself don't agree 100% on these issues with food but he has pointed out ways that I do something simliar to him as in calling something "mine"
Before, I get to that though we feel that we have to make Stepen (12 year old) ask permission to eat in our household because he will over eat if we don't stop him.
In the presence of Stephen we expect Alex to ask for food instead of just taking to keep our youngest son from breaking the rules. We also expect Alex to use common sense as in if brother was told no to a an ice cream that he shouldn't even bother to ask. It honestly doesn't matter if big brother hasn't alrady had a treat like little brother. My youngest son has a hard time understanding this stuff. This doesn't mean that Alex can't ask for some ice cream when Stephen is in bed or off in his own world.
What we don't like is Alex taking things in the middle of the night because we really don't like kids up disturbing our sleep or getting us used to sleeping with noise. Stephen sleep walks and I can't not hear hi due to us just getting used to having someone walk around in the middle of the night.
I know a lot of our issues stem from Alex not living with us for a few years and Stephen growing up with a certain set of rules.
I don't ever recall before my husband moved in with me did I ever have food that was in someone house that didn't feel like it was a household item. It started with cookies and I remember being upset because I didn't like it.
My husband has pointed out to me that I do simliar things for example my soda. I buy it for myself and I am addicted and if someone just started drinking it all I would be upset. I do buy certain drinks for my kids too. I like these low calorie drinks that I buy for Stephen honestly I get upset when other people take it. For me it's a great tool to moniter how fast my son is drinking them down and that doesn't work if my husband gives it to the grandbaby.
My husband has done things simliar trying to make it as if since I picked up some ice cream that it's mine and uses that to deny the kids from eating it. I don't agree with even saying that it's "mine" just cause I bought it. Truth is that I buy and pick up about 75% of the groceries around here. I do have my items around the house that I have been using as snacks to get me through my weight loss and while I hope no one touches too much of it I never insist.
My husband has gone literly asked me if it was okay for him (husband) to eat something and I think it's funny to ask because we he is a grown up. I am honest with him that I won't play that game and ask to eat something.
I do believe it's different with children due to the fact that they are not buying groceries. It's not that they can't eat cause trust me my children eat. Besides that they are not planning the meals and that tomatoe that someone ate without checking could be going in tomorrow's dinner.
It's just we want them to have meals and hopefully with us as a family. Alex is working so it's not always possible and I would much rather him eat food that we saved them for him to buy himself fast food. I really don't mind him snacking here and there and he is 17 so I honestly don't expect him to ask permission before he most things.
I do wish for some thinking about other people and that he wouldn't come in and not take time for a meal but eat up a ton of fruit or junk food. One day I bought 4 peaches and we have 4 people here and he ate 3 of them. It's really not a huge deal but it's the principles that he doesn't live alone.
I don't think my husband treats my son has a paid renter. LOL He isn't paying us anything and hasn't been bringing his own food in. However, he will be 18 in a few months so a lot of the things we are slowly pushing him is because he is damn near an adult.
He is working and has chosen not to seek an education at the moment he won't have all his checks free to himself forever. He will have to pay rent and buy his own food if he didn't live here and sooner or later he will have to chip in around here.
I wonder if a lot of these issues would be a moot point if we are not pinching pennies. If one person does hog food up in one day or two days meant for the week then we are out until the next week on payday.
By the record, I think a family eating up a pan of brownies in one day is being pigish. Or making a blueberry bread loaf and eating it basically in a day and half is being pifish too. LOL
I know my husband and I will probably never see 100% eye to eye on this stuff. He really isn't the example on healthy eating cause he had a little bit of a eating disorder and under eats.