babysitting

Last night, marked the tenth week of volunteering for Meld. I don't know if words can describe the feeling that I get from hanging out with the children every week. It's been pretty much the same kids each week so it's been cool to see how they begin to remember me.
I really believe that going to spend an hour and half each week with the children has made a difference in my life. In one way, was my energy level and the aches and pains of my body has I bent down to their level. There is nothing like getting down on the floor and back up again to tell you how you have let your body go. I have been steadily going to the Ymca three times a week and then working out a little here and there on the other days. I have lost ten lbs since this time in April. Most important, even more than the weight loss, I don't hurt anymore. I get get through my day to day life without the aches and pains. Also, I can get to the babies level without the pain. Getting up is still a challenge though, but I don't hurt.
Other, than the physical changes in my body. I really feel that hanging out with the little kids and knowing that I am part of something so special makes me feel so good inside. It's helping my self esteem. I feel like I am helping Mom's and babies stay together in a small way.
Remember Ella, Oh my is she a doll. She is a little princess. I could just hide her and tell her Mom she ran away. haha. Just kidding. This little girl is one of two girls that has been there in these ten weeks. Ella likes attention. She wants to be held. She wants to be cuddled. She just melts my heart. For the last two weeks, she has fell asleep in my arms. My arms would ache so bad, but I can't pass up this experience. Last night, she was in between awake and asleep mode and she patted my back. I love to watch Ella when she is in the mood to walk around and play. She has this way of standing and I swear it says, "Yea, I am pretty and I know it"
I have so much fun with all the kids. I miss the baby days. When it's so easy to entertain a little one by playing peek a boo or playing with pretend food. I enjoy the way a baby screams out in excitement. I find it exciting as I am hanging out with them that I have signs from American Sign language surface out to the front of my mind. It reminds me of the days that Stephen was young and wasn't talking. I remember how exciting it was when he would learn a new word. How cool I felt that we had our secret language. More so, it makes me so amazed at the progress he has made. I remember wondering would my son ever gain speech. He was five and I didn't know if I would ever hear his voice. I think on my hard days where I am feeling bad that Stephen has been given this hand in life that I need not to pity it but be proud of him for where he is.
I have more that I want to say about this experience of volunteering for Meld, but I will leave it for another day.