Saturday, February 20, 2010

New babies make me so sad. I am happy for the new family, but it just really gets me down. I haven't been exposed to a new baby in at least 7 years and I can't explain it, but this new one has been the worst. I am quite now sure what to do about it. I thought I was ready, but I am not.
I shouldn't feel this way. I know it's not all about me. My husband and I always end up fighting when we talk about adoption. He doesn't think a Mom feels attachment to her baby until after six months or so. So, in his eyes, I was never my child's mother. So, it's okay that her OBC is hid away in some locked file to never been seen. It's okay that it has another womans name on it has giving birth. I know that I just need to say that we don't agree and that's ok. But to me it's like him saying that your pain isn't real. No injustices was done to you. I love my husband, but I just got to give up.