Sunday, August 30, 2009

no one gets it

Since I lost my live in client to the nursing home, I have had to adjust to new clients and hours at work. I was tired of the live-in's but boy was I spoiled. I am not talking about money. I was given love!! It was awesome. The love was returned and it was amazing. I am missing them so much.
So anyways, for the past three weeks, I have spent time with a lady with Alzheimer's. Her husband has been there too. This lady is a lot of work and spent most the three weeks wanting me to leave. It's very hard on the husband to see if wife go down hill. She doesn't always know who he is.
Today, between tending to her for a 14 hour shift, I was reading a book about Birthmothers. adoptive mothers, and adoptee daughters. After I read the book, I was asking myself.. Why do I subject myself to material that I can't help but think of my daughter and the adoption.
Then, the husband says, that no one understands what he is going through. I told him that he is right that no one gets it unless they have walked in your shoes. I said a lot of people have something that no one gets, because they can't possibly understand until they are in your shoes.
That was the answer to my question. I am interested in blogs and books, because I want to be around people who get me. Sometimes I want to talk to someone, but then say the hell with it, they won't understand me. Why even bother talking at all? So, I really do crave talking with other birthmom's but I am settling for the internet and books.


RB said...

You are SO right. I feel the same way, but from a potential adoptive parent's point of view. The reason that I read other adoptive parent's blogs and infertility blogs is because no one in real life gets it, they just say demeaning comments. I read birth mom blogs because I want more insight in their feelings and needs so I can be as respectful as possible and do her justice when my child asks me about his first mom. I don't know what we'd do without the support online. The world would seem so much lonelier.

BB said...

I have been trying to write a post about this for weeks now. Adoption has really taught me this very thing and I am beginning to learn that we can't blame people for not understanding our point of view. The worst part is, you kind of just have to keep it to yourself until you are around people that understand. People can start to understand the concepts, but they will never get the emotions. Good post!

Anonymous said...

So true. I'm glad you're blogging so that some of us can try to "get it." What book were you reading? I'd like to get it from the library :)