Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Tomorrow, Kali's parents are going to go meet with a potential birth mom. They are wishing to adopt their second child and this of course would make Kali a big sister. There is something about that dark haired little girl with her bright smile that just makes me go awwww. Please go visit their blog at and show your support as the journey could possibly be coming to the next step.

By the way, I picked up a book about birthmothers written with many stories of birthmothers by Merry Bloch Jones. I already read The girls who went away and wonder if it's about the same. I think anyone considering adoption either adopting or considering placing children for adoption should read these books. Are there any good books that would show me a side of adoptive parents besides blogging?


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the recommendation. I've heard of "The girls who went away" before. I don't have much time to read, but I requested it from the library. :)

As far as books from the other perspective, I think that's harder because there are such a variety of adoption experiences. Adopting a domestic newborn of your own race is worlds away from adopting an older child from foster care of adopting internationally and/or transracially. There are probably great memoirs out there that address one family's individual experience, but I can't really think of one off the top of my head. Lori at Weebles Wobblog does book reviews and I think she's reviewed a couple of books that are about adoptive families. My suggestion to you is to read books about infertility, because that is likely to give you insight into the emotional life of many women who end up adopting newborns. I just reviewed a book on my site that is a good look at the world of infertility, but it's more of a reference book than a collection of memoirs. Anyhow, I'll be interested to see what other replies you get.

p.s. I'm very grateful that I can read "The girls..." without worrying that Evie's birthmom was in that situation. If we had a closed adoption I would forever worry that her birthmom was a young girl who was pressured by her family into choosing adoption. It's less common these days, but I hear that it still happens to some girls.

BB said...

In the very beginning of our journey, I read "A love like no other; stories from adoptive parents." I remember liking it at the time, but I was a completely different person then so who knows...

I think it is really great that you are trying to get inside Izzy's parents' head. It is really tough, becuase being an adoptive parent and a birth parent are like two opposite sides of a coin, with the common thread of loving the same child. Sometimes I struggle with balancing what I want for me as an adoptive parent and what I want for R's birthparents in terms of respect and recognition. Does that even makes sense?

Kristin said...

Hey there,

I just stumbled upon your blog and am enjoying beginning to get to know you through it.

I have a book recommendation for you: "The Kid," by Dan Savage. (You may know Dan from his national sex advice columns. He is hilarious and very smart.) This book is a memoir that only deals with the pregnancy-matching-relinquishment part of their adoption story. But I think it gives a very true glimpse into what we pre-adoptive parents go through as we work to build our own families and how earnestly we hope to do right by birthfamilies. It is one of those "you'll laugh, you'll cry..." books.

Thanks for sharing your experiences!