- My guilt over my daughter being placed for adoption.
- My feelings that I live a fake life. I can't talk about my daughter. She said just do it! Easier said than done.
- My relationship with my Mom. She feels it's important I that I either decide to fix it or accept it for what it is.
- She believes that for more healing to come that I have to just let go. Quit to beating myself up with the what if's and just accept that it happened.
- She asked if there was one thing that I would like to that would make me feel better. I told her that I would love to share Izzy's scrap book with someone. I also told her how I feel about it though. I want to share it, but at the same time, I feel as if I let someone look at it that I also probably would want to pull it back. I think a lot of it is that I want someone to WANT to look at it. She asked me to bring it to the next session. I decided to go monthly with Izzy's birthday approaching after summer ends. So, she suggested I bring the book and share it with her.
- Lastly, she encouraged me to continue with the marriage counseling and to give him a call back since June is over with. I called Tuesday and he didn't answer. Also, hasn't called me back yet. I feel it's very important that I can talk about adoption and how it's effected my life and what I want out of my husband. The other day, I was telling him I was shocked to read that the average birthmom is over 30 and has kids and he says it's not really a big deal. As in giving up your child isn't a big deal. I don't accept him to totally change, but somethings really need not to be said.
Friday, July 3, 2009
I thought I would write a little more about my counseling session. Mainly, I go just so I can talk about my daughter and adoption without either being ignored, attacked, or just make people uncomfortable. However, my counslor, really wants to help me deal with some of my issues that I have.