Wednesday, February 15, 2012

teenager

I am struggling with the fact that my oldest son will be earning a GED and not a diploma at a regular high school. I know there is no point in him going back to a normal high school but I had my hopes high for him at least earning a diploma thru the alternative school.

My son has gotten a couple F's even at this school. He is suspended right now for leaving class. There were only 4 children in the class but he still can't behave himself. My husband is accusing me of being negative towards the GED and honestly I am. I am just not proud of him right now. There is a small part of me that wishes I didn't bring him back to live with me. That makes me feel bad just admitting it but it's true. He is suppose to be a role model to his little brother and isn't one to look up to.

Maybe, some of my negative feelings is cause I often feel weird telling people that I graduated at an alternative school and I wanted better for him. I feel like I had been through hell and back and make it work so I could graduate on time and with a diploma. This school doesn't seem to "the same" as I went too. They don't even want to encourage him to graduate through them earning credits. They made that up in the beginning. Also, they claim that my son is the only student that has made it from the beginning until now. The "school" I went to yes had people drop out but people made it too. They say my son can still graduate in a cap and gown but what is going to be a class of one?

Maybe, I am turned off by the GED because if he can't make classes at this alternative school where the average class size is about five then how can he make college? How is he going to handle a job? Am I going to have him live in my basement until he is 30 playing video games? We already plan on the possibility that my youngest son who is special needs may live at home longer but not both of them.

The school says they will help him get signed up for a junior college but who are we kidding? The really ironic thing is that my son really smart. I swear he is. They think he will pass the GED tests with little trouble.

I been bugging him to find a part time job because he has a fine due for 600 this month. He goes to court and who knows what the judge is going to do. My husband is going to go with him and request community service to get this past him.

If my son walks out of class one more time or gets mouthy he will be kicked out of school. I know a lot of our issues is because he did live with his Dad who didn't take care of his needs or make sure he went to school but at some point he has to just do what he has to do.

He seems to have a real issue with authority and if he doesn't get past it then he is going to have a rough life. I am 35 years old and I have to deal with authority and I don't always like it. I do like the fact that with my job, I don't have a boss breathing down my back all day. But that's not the point. I do what I have to do. I don't always like it. If I was anything like my son we would go hungry cause I would have went off the wall when I found out the new employees make just about the same as I do and I am five year employee. But I just deal with it. I need a job.

Sorry, I just needed to vent.

1 comment:

Karen said...

I feel your pain. I waited years for my son to graduate. It was my dream to be there, watching him...taking pictures of him and showing him how proud I was. But he didn't graduate either. He skipped class a lot. He went to summer school, and it was soon after the Columbine incident, he tried to leave class early, got called into the principal's office, and she let him go after almost an hour in his office. My son then swung at a tree branch and said, "I should blow up this F'ing school!" ummm...NOT the thing to say. He would not have done it...he probably wouldnt even have known how to do it. And he probably got the idea from the news at the time. But talk about stupid teenager! He was going into his junior year then. He was suspended from school. We went to a 'school hearing' with him that year, and they expelled him from the school...but he was allowed to go to another district...huh? OK..so I understand the suspension, but to expel him from the district and say that he (who was expelled for dangerous reasons) can go to another district??? IMO, the school personnel were playing the same damn game that he was, puffing out their chests and not really resolving the problem that they said needed resolution.
Anyway, he went to an alternative school, but didn't go to classes. I called the school, and they said that he would have to go another 3 years to graduate. Tough love set in, and I told him he was done. I was done!
Two years later, he applied for, and received his GED, and got an award for being within the top 90%. I wasn't sure if I was more proud or angry at him for not taking advantage of the fact that he really could have graduated.
He regretted it later. He still does, I think. He went to college for 2 semesters, and then went on to full time work, and has not gone back. I wish he would, but life is catching up to him now. He is married, and needs to add to the income of his wife. When he was in college, he was taking paramedics classes and he excelled in them, and thrived. I hope not going back to college is not going to haunt him, but I think it will. There's always time though.
Good luck with your son...sometimes they just need to do things on their own time. I completely understand your frustration as a mother, and the sorrow you feel. You just want to shake them sometimes, but they have to follow their own paths, no matter how difficult it is. All we can do is be there for them later.