Tuesday, January 10, 2012

My oldest son has been living with me again for over a month. I am feeling stress from it. I feel that things are running as smoothly when it comes to having enough money for groceries and bills now that we have him with us. I took him to the dentist today and he has six cavities. This is something that I don't believe would be the case had he been living with me and getting to the dentist on a regular basis. My youngest son hasn't had a cavity in over a year and half.

Now, my son has to get two root canals and some fillings and possible one tooth pulled out. I feel stressed because there are already times I miss work to make a doctor's appointment for my little guy and can't afford to do it too often. My current husband is upset that Dad and the new wife get to "party" while we do everything and foot most of the cost.

I know if my son had never moved that taking care of both of them would come natural but he hasn't been with us and hasn't been raised with our way of life. I so badly want my son to get a part time job. I so badly want him to pick up after himself and help out around the house with trash ect.

I keep struggling with do I go to court and make it final? Or do I keep letting see how things are going as in Dad supporting his two children? If I make it legal... I believe there is a good chance that as long as my son is still in school that he would have to help support him past the age of 18 and this could be important since my son doesn't seem to be working at getting a job. I really don't expect that my son turn 18 and move out right away. I can see where he could use more help learning how to cook and take care of himself but if his whole day consists of a few hours of school, movies and games then I am going to have trouble in my marriage when the Mom in me doesn't have the heart to kick him out.

Well, I just wanted to vent.


Karen said...

It's my understanding that child support lasts till their 18th birthday (or graduates from high school if that comes after his 18th birthday) in all states, and in SOME states, the child support continues if the child goes to college, but not if they do not go to college. And this only applies in SOME states. Do some googling about it.
As for getting a job, I personally do not see anything wrong with insisting that he gets one as part of the criteria of staying in your home, at least in the summer months, and at least part time, especially if he is 16 or older. And when he turns 18, don't 'kick him out' but dont let him expect to stay there rent rent free either.
Without some kinds of guidelines he will not benefit from living with you, and your hospitality will grow thin on your husband....especially if in your state, child support is not required after his 18th birthday.

birthmothertalks said...

Thanks for the suggestion to look up child support in my state. It doesn't look too promising for us to get it too much past the 18th birthday. It would depend on if he is still in school next year or not. I believe the school wants him to go into the GED department but his Dad was suppose to get him an ID before he could enter the classes. Looks like one more thing that will fall on me now. The school he is at doesn't give homework so I don't see why even during the school year he can't hold down a part time job. I am already feeling the pinch trying to support him and the stress of how lazy he is. We talk to him but it's like it goes in what ear and out the other.