Saturday, January 28, 2012

I go to court in just a couple days. My husband suggested that maybe I should bring my son to be near the court room just in case the judge wants to talk to him since he is 17. I am worried that his Dad may just try to insist he go back home with him to avoid paying support. He has been with me for two months and I think it would be very sad if it went down that way. Besides, I want my son with us and my sons to be together but I don't want my oldest son to think he has to move cause Dad wants to avoid paying. In reality, I believe it costs more to raise a child than he would have to pay but my ex doesn't always take care of his needs so it's possible it's cheaper for him to keep him with him. Anyone have any suggestions on if I should bring him or not? I really don't want to keep him out of school but also I hope support gets ordered and not mediation cause that is expensive.


Karen said...

Tough call. If you bring him with you, your son might feel a lot of guilt when he sees your ex. If it were me, I would not bring him with save my son from the feelings he doesn't need to be exposed to unnecessarily.

In Ca, mediation is free if it's court ordered, but it is always court ordered before going to court. If yours would not be free, is it possible your insurance would cover the costs? Also, you might want to consider asking the court for family counseling to be ordered, so that your sons can make peace with your ex as well. Im pretty sure THAT would be covered with insurance, and a small copay.

birthmothertalks said...

I think I will just send him to school and not risk exposing him to court. In my state, mediation is 300 bucks so that's 150 per parent and it wasn't really effective then it just seemed like we talked until I gave in. We have tried family counseling before but I don't think we all could ever meet up at the same time or something. Plus, my son tends to shut down and just won't talk so not sure if it would work but I will keep it in mind. However, the thing is that I don't think my son and his Dad got into a huge fight that caused him to want to come with us. He didn't want to live without heat and hot water. The heat problem was fixed but as far as I know they still can't shower at Dad's. My children only are going Saturday afternoon to Sunday afternoon due to my youngest having Saturday tutoring but my little guy would shower Thursday night (he showers at night) then go to Dad's Friday after school and come home on Sunday smelling. Sorry I guess I just needed to vent.