Monday, May 9, 2011
Mother's Day 2011
I didn't hear from my daughter on Mother's Day. It made me very sad. However, I was prepared that it was possible that I would not hear from her and understood that I needed to fill my mind with happy thoughts because I want Mother's Day to be a happy day.
All my sadness, isn't around my daughter. It's also about how I have just never have had a relationship with my Mom and it's just kind of sad. I read something how someone who lost their Mom to death feels sad when people complain about their Mom's. However, I am sad because I don't have very many happy memories of my Mom and I don't know what it feels like to be a daughter.
Like I said though, I wanted to make my day a good one.
I called Pam, she was my math teacher from 10th grade to 12 grade and we reconnected when she had a party for retirement. Last year, I took her flowers and a card on Mother's Day and in addition to my Mom. I never heard from my Mom but of course Pam called me the next day. I just dropped in and was caught by her husband dropping them off. It was a little comical.
This year, I just called Pam to wish her a happy Mother's day. We talked for about 15 minutes or so. I told her how I was sad because I didn't think I would hear from Izzy. I told her how she fills the void that I feel from a loss of my Mom. She said, if her only thing in life that she has done is to do that for me then she is happy. I told her how I tend to over analyze things and she said "you are my daughter" It was so sweet. Pam doesn't call me a whole lot. I have caught myself wondering am I being unfair to my Mom? No. I don't think I am. Pam does call me sometimes. Also, you can literally imagine Pam jumping up and down when she hears my voice. She says, Cristyyy!!!! We plan on getting together sometime in the summer. Our relationship is unique. She is double my age. I feel that I am so blessed to have her in my life. I may have been given a crappy hand and was given a bad Mom but this great lady has welcomed me with open arms. Our friendship has opened my eyes that people can really love those that are not related to.
Then, I went to my babysitting job at the church and both kids came with me. Normally, Alex is still sleeping but was up early and he came along too. At first, we only had one child and we took a nature walk in the woods with him. There was five people at least 16 and older watching one child. Then, another child came and we went back to the nursery.
My husband, both sons and granddaughter went to a cookout for a simple cookout. It was such a beautiful day and we enjoyed the sounds of nature and had some pretty good food. Oh yea and Alex gave me some pretty flowers. Stephen didn't get me anything because he spent his allowance on himself. This is the first year, that I didn't give money to someone to take him shopping. I figure they have to learn these things.
After, Alex went home to his place where he lives with his Dad. I went out and bought some plants for the MELD Mom's. For my new readers, MELD is an non for profit organization that houses and provides supports, education and job training for young Mom's. They have parenting groups for Mom's and Dad's and I volunteer while they are in class once a week. I made up nine plants just to be on the safe side. I needed to do something good to cancel out my sadness that my daughter didn't take the time to reach out to me. I am not angry at my daughter, but just sad. I know that I don't get a lot of the credit for her great life but I did hold out hope to hear from her. I held out quite a while but it never came.
When my husband offered to buy blizzards from DQ if I ran to get them, I jumped on the chance. I figure a little chocolate would help make me feel good. I know it's not good to use food like that but a girl has to do what a girl has to do.
Back to the flowers, my sister joined me again for babysitting for MELD. It's her second night. We also had another volunteer. It went from just me and the driver to three women watching out after the children. Now, the driver can do what he needs to do or wants to do and doesn't have to do the childcare.
I had my sister take some pictures of the flowers. I let the older children choose the plant to give to their Mom. I also gave the daughter to the women who runs the Mom group a plant to give her Mom too. They're dog just died today and the daughter was sad about it. I hope it made things a little better.
Enjoy the pictures of the flowers and thanks to the two people who recently donated to MELD. I hope you know how much it means to me that you support my work for MELD.