Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I am trying to play nice because we are getting counseling from a church. However, I can only play nice for so long. My husband doesn't seem to understand where he went wrong. One.. never mention skinny ex wife to your new wife who isn't skinny. Two... never offer weight loss suggestions that aren't healthy. You can't say that I am concerned for your health.. you could take meth... it make my skinny ex wife even skinnier. What I am actually hearing or feeling from the situation is that you are fat and fix it even if it kills you. This all started because he came up with a bet.. I didn't agree. The bet is that when I lose 50 lbs he will quit drinking. Now he has lowered it to 25 lbs in two months. I still haven't agreed. I don't believe a husband should be telling his wife how to lose weight. I have been trying to play nice and do this. Cut my calories in half. Drink water and ignore hunger. I am not totally starving myself but down to a small breakfast and dinner only. On the days, that I don't have my 24 hour shift I am working out for 2 hours in seperate times. He tells me not to go nuts. I really lose it when he needs me to give him money so he can drink. How come I am suppose to improve myself first and why do I have to pay for him? He keeps telling me.. I didn't tell you to take meth.. I said you could take it. Jerk. Since Wedesday, my weight is dropping. It doesn't make me feel good, because I want to know the person I chose to marry loves me if I am big or not. Funny thing was with my money he brought me half of a candy bar. So I can eat bad only when it works till his advantage. I didn't even touch it. He has made me feel so bad that I am starting to feel bad just by eating. I don't know how to get rid of this hurt or anger.
Well, I better walk my dog before I go to work.

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